Spring Hill Barbie
This princess Barbie is only sold at The Galleria. She comes with an
assortment of Kate Spade handbags, a Lexus, a long-haired foreign dog
named Honey and a cookie cutter house. Available with or without
tummy tuck, breast implants and face lift. Workaholic Ken sold only
in conjunction with "augmented" version of Barbie.
West Mobile Barbie
This trendy homemaker Barbie is available with your choice of Lexus
SUV or Ford Windstar minivan. She gets lost easily and has no full
time occupation or secondary education. Traffic jamming cell
phone sold separately. Optional matching gym outfit.
Prichard Barbie
This recently paroled Barbie comes with a 9mm handgun, a Ray Lewis
knife,a Chevy with tinted windows and her own Meth Lab kit. This model
is available after dark and can be paid for only in cash. Preferably
small,untraceable bills. Unless you're a cop. Then we don't know
what you're talking about.
Citronelle Barbie
This model comes dressed in her own Wrangler jeans two sizes too
small, a NASCAR shirt and has a tattoo of a Tweety bird on her
shoulder. She has big, stiff hair, a six pack of Bud Light and a Hank
Williams,Jr. CD set. She can spit over 5 feet and can kick Mullet-haired Kenny
doll's ass when she's drunk. Purchase her pickup truck separately and
get its Confederate flag bumper stickers absolutely free.
Semmes Barbie
This tobacco chewing, brassy-haired Barbie has a pair of
her own
high-heeled sandals with one broken heel from the time she chased her
beer-gutted boyfriend out of Skipper's house. Her make-up is dark red
lip liner with your choice of lips covered in a sparkly pink or no
fill-in at all. Her ensemble includes low-rise acid-washed jeans
with assorted colored G-strings that stick out the back and a white
see-through halter-top.
Accessories include: CD-player equipped with Bon Jovi and a rusty old Ford pick
up.
Oakleigh District Barbie
This yuppie Barbie comes with choice of a BMW sports car or
a souped
up Hummer 2. Included are her own Starbucks cup, credit cards and
country club membership. Also available for this set are Shallow Ken
and Private School Skipper. But you can't afford them anyway.
UMS Barbie
Rhino plastic Barbie wears a leopard-print beach outfit and
drinks cosmopolitans while she entertains friends at her beach house
on Ono Island . This doll comes with an added bonus Nanny Skipper
Doll for taking care of Barbie's invisible children whom she hardly
knows. Percocet and Xanax prescription bottles also available.
St Pauls Barbie
This Barbie comes complete with a Suburban. Her highlighted hair is
shoulder length and she wears khaki pants and a matching sweater set.
Your choice of Golden Retriever or Labrador dog. Ken doll is
unavailable due to his being perpetually "at the office" or "on
a
business trip". Other available accessories include: Tennis outfit
and tennis racket, Harold Powell charge card, Prozac Prescription Bottle
and the related Private Investigator Barbie (for checking up on Ken).
Monterey Place Barbie
This doll is made of actual tofu, has long gray hair and archless
feet, sandals with white socks, no makeup and a mutt. She prefers
that you call her "Willow."
