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Charles Mims's Personal Humorscope
for Friday, January 2, 2004
"I have been thinking that I would make a proposition to my Republican
friends...that if they will stop telling lies about the Democrats, we will
stop telling the truth about them." -- Adlai Stevenson
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Aries (March 21 - April 19)
You will narrowly avoid a collision on the sidewalk today,
as a small giggling person runs past you, being hotly pursued by a
weeping incoherent person waving a ham sandwich. Aside from that, a
pretty typical day.
Taurus (April 20 - May 20)
Beware of iguanas, today.
Gemini (May 21 - June 20)
A Ph.D. degree in parapsychology is in your future.
Despite what you may have heard, however, the corresponding career
path is not terribly rewarding. You will get to see a lot of
furniture move by itself, of course, so that's a plus.
Cancer (June 21 - July 22)
When's the last time you did something nice for Doug?
Sure, he's cranky a lot, and dresses funny, but he's a good person.
Perhaps you should take him to lunch?
Leo (July 23 - August 22)
Remember to put a disclaimer at the bottom of your report,
to say that it doesn't necessarily reflect the views of your
management, or, for that matter, of any other carbon-based life form.
Virgo (August 23 - September 22)
Remember: Unexpressed feelings don't die. They are buried
alive and emerge later as Border Collies. So don't hold anything back!
Tell everyone what you REALLY think of them! You may lose your job,
family and friends, but you won't have a crazed, hyperactive animal
hounding your every step.
Libra (September 22 - October 22)
An old nickname will surface today, much to your dismay,
"Giggles."
Scorpio (October 23 - November 21)
Nobody knows the trouble you've seen. Except for Bob, that
is. You know - the quiet neighbor, with the binoculars?
Sagittarius (November 22 - December 21)
Someone you've never met will come up and nudge you today.
You don't have to stand for that, though, and you should just nudge
them right back.
Capricorn (December 22 - January 20)
Good day to examine your cuticles. If you do that
studiously enough, I'm quite sure nobody will realize you're not
paying any attention.
Aquarius (January 21 - February 18)
Remember to bring your entrenching tool with you today.
You'll need it. (You know...for the marketing meeting.)
Pisces (February 19 - March 20)
You will discover that you can wiggle your ears today, and
will actually become quite good at it. People will invite you to
parties. |
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