Martians Purposely Screwing With Earthly Probes

LOS ANGELES (Wireless Flash) -- Scientists have yet to connect with Europe's Beagle 2 Mars probe, but a nuclear physicist in Los Angeles has a spacey explanation: Martians are sabotaging the satellites.

Dr. Franklin Ruehl says there's been so many snafus connected with the Mars probes -- especially when compared to other space probes -- that Martian intervention can't be ruled out as a cause.

Evidence of intelligent life has yet to be found on Mars' surface, but Ruehl speculates that there's an underground civilization purposely trying to avoid detection by Earthlings.

He's not basing his theories on old sci-fi films. Ruehl says there are many structures on Mars that show signs of an advanced culture, including the famous "Face on Mars" and a giant cemetery near the polar caps which features perfectly arranged tombstones standing 200 feet high.

Ruehl realizes his theories are not mainstream science, but he figures to be vindicated soon because at least two Mars probes are reaching Mars in the coming weeks.

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