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~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ You may be a redneck wheelchair user if: * Any part of your chair is painted camo. * You have a wheelchair up on blocks in your front yard. * You use deck plating, steel mesh, or motorcycle parts as decoration. * You rigged up a beer cooler powered off your chair batteries. Double points if you don't care that it sucks your batteries dry so long as the beer stays cold. * You wear cowboy, biker, or work boots , even though they are a bitch to put on and you can't walk anyway. * You adjusted your headrest so it'll stop knocking off your hat. * You installed a gun rack on back. * Your joystick is a billiard ball, car stick shift knob, beer tap, or similar. * You ever thought about jacking your chair up 2 or 3 feet. * You have knobby mud tires- that never get dirty. * You installed a sound system so your chair will so und like a truck or hog. * You installed a whip antenna just so you could fly the stars and bars! * There is a 'Harley' decal or emblem permanently attached to your chair. * You installed a CB behind or under your chair. * You replaced your seat with a BarcoLounger. * You found the above BarcoLounger at the side of the road. * You named your chair 'Bubba', 'Junior', 'Daisy', or 'Killer'. * There is some part of a deer decorating any part of your chair. * You have ever thought about smuggling moonshine in the tubing or battery compartment of the chair. * You, while in your chair, ever made any roadkill. * The accessories hangin' on the chair weigh more than the chair does. * You browse truck catalogs looking for ways to soup up your chair. * You want to add a side-car or a 'sweet little trailer'. * You wear a 4 pound belt buckle that cuts into your stomach as you sit. * The fringe of your jacket or strings of your b olo tie have ever got caught in your wheels - but you wear it anyway. * You regularly call up Harley Davidson and ask when they are going to start making wheelchairs. * You have spent more than an hour trying to figure out how to hang fuzzy dice from your chair. * You have transported livestock in your chair. Bonus points if the livestock was bigger or heavier than you! * You thought about, even for a second, trying to outrun a highway patrol cruiser while in your chair. * Duct tape plays a major role in your repair and maintenance plan. * You really don't need a wheelchair in the first place, but you thought it might help pick up chicks. * You read this list and found yourself thinking, at any point, "now that's a good idea!" |
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