Maxine's Rules of Life
Sometimes we need to remember WHAT the Rules of Life
really are.
1. Never give yourself a haircut after three
alcoholic beverages of any kind.
2. You need only two tools:
WD-40 and duct tape. If it doesn't move and it should, use the WD-40. If
it moves and it shouldn't, use the duct tape.
3. The five most
essential words for a healthy, vital relationship are "I apologize" and
"You are right."
4. Everyone seems normal until you get to know
them.
5. When you make a mistake, make amends immediately. It's
easier to eat crow while it's still warm.
6.. The only really
good advice that your mother ever gave you was: "Go! You might meet
somebody!"
7. If he/she says that you are too good for him/her -
believe them.
8. Learn to pick your battles. Ask yourself, "Will
this matter one year from now? How about one month? One week? One
day?"
9. Never pass up an opportunity to pee.
10. If you
woke up breathing, congratulations! You have another chance!
11.
Living well really is the best revenge. Being miserable because of a bad
or former relationship just might mean that the other person was right
about you.
12. Work is good, but it's not that important.
13. And finally; Be really nice to your friends and family. You
never know when you are going to need them to empty your
bedpan.!!!!!!
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