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A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife.
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To be happy with a man, you must understand him a lot and love him a little.
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To be happy with a woman, you must love her a lot and not try to understand her at all.
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Married men live longer than single men, but married men are a lot more willing to die.
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Any married man should forget his mistakes, there is no use in two people remembering the same thing.
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A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesn't.
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A man marries a woman expecting that she won't change, and she does.
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A woman has the last wor2d in any argument.
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Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new argument.
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In the beginning, God created earth and rested.
--> Then God created man and rested.
--> Then God created woman.
--> Since then, neither God nor man has rested.
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Why do men die before their wives? --> They want to.
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A beggar walked up to a well-dressed woman shopping on Rodeo Drive and said "I haven't eaten anything in four days." She looked at him and said, "Man, I wish I had your willpower."
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Do you know the punishment for bigamy? --> Two Mother-in-laws.
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Young Son: Is it true, Dad, I heard that in some parts of --> Africa a man doesn't know his wife until he marries her?
--> Dad: That happens in every country, son.
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A man inserted an 'ad' in the classified: "Wife wanted".
--> Next day he received a hundred letters. They all said the same thing: "You can have mine."
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The most effective way to remember your wife's birthday is to forget it once.
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First guy (proudly): "My wife's an angel!"
--> Second guy: "You're lucky, mine's still alive."
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How do most men define marriage? --> An expensive way to get laundry did for free.
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Just think, if it weren't for marriage, men would go through life thinking they had no faults at all.
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If you want your wife to listen and pay undivided attention to every word you say, talk in your sleep.
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Then there was a man who said, "I never knew what real happiness was until I got married; and then it was too late."
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A little boy asked his father, 'Daddy, how much does it cost to get married?"
--> And the father replied, "I don't know son, I'm still paying."
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every man wants a wife who is beautiful,
understanding,
economical,
and a good cook........
but the law allows only one wife.
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a professer wrote
"woman without her man is nothing"
and directed her students to punctuate it correctly.
boys wrote: " woman, without her man, is nothing
girls wrote: "woman! without her, man is nothing".
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at start of marraige wife treats husband as GOD
after wards situation reverses like letters......
and wife treats husband as DOG!!!
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