Title: The Daily Humorscope
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Charles Mims's Personal Humorscope
for Friday, January 16, 2004
When I said 'we', officer, I was referring to myself, the four young
ladies, and, of course, the goat. |
Aries (March 21 - April 19)
Good day to sleep in. A nap would work well today, too.
Try to get to bed early. Aside from that, nothing too exciting today.
Taurus (April 20 - May 20)
Today you'll have one of those baffling moments when
you're sure you spelled a word correctly, but your spelling checker
will still complain. Ask someone nearby how they spell it. They'll
spell it the same way you do, much to your rolaids.
Gemini (May 21 - June 20)
Huge mutant gnats will pester you today. Or at least,
that's what it will seem like -- sometimes managers bear a striking
resemblance...
Cancer (June 21 - July 22)
You would be ill-advised to try to shoot kidney beans out
your nose, today. (Yes, I know you were thinking of it.)
Leo (July 23 - August 22)
Today you will find yourself wondering why a shampoo that
"tingles" would be better at preventing dandruff than one which
doesn't. It's that sort of intellectual undertaking which has earned
you your well-deserved reputation.
Virgo (August 23 - September 22)
Excellent day to shuffle your feet. Remember: it's OK to
shuffle your feet or to shuffle your cards, but you should never
shuffle your nose.
Libra (September 22 - October 22)
A project you started a while ago takes on nightmarish
proportions, today, as you realize that you've been suckered into a
hideous task. Fortunately, you will be able to get out of it by
feigning death.
Scorpio (October 23 - November 21)
If a wolf is chasing your sleigh, throw him a raisin
cookie. That, of course, is a metaphor for what will really happen.
Sagittarius (November 22 - December 21)
Today you will receive a gift horse. Unfortunately, it
will have a really horrendous case of gingivitis.
Capricorn (December 22 - January 20)
Excellent day to refer to everyone as "Doctor." This will
make them grin, and they'll forget all about that favor they were
going to ask of you.
Aquarius (January 21 - February 18)
Happy Frog Day!! Let's hear it for our little amphibious
friends!
Pisces (February 19 - March 20)
Try being entirely honest for a week. That's a fine way to
develop a clear conscience. Personally, I prefer my method, though --
a poor memory. |
[>>Charles<<]
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