Cute

David L.

A liberal is someone who feels a great debt to his
fellow man, which debt he proposes to pay off with
your money. -- G. Gordon Liddy



-----Original Message-----
From: [EMAIL PROTECTED]
[mailto:[EMAIL PROTECTED] Behalf Of Charles
Sent: Friday, January 16, 2004 3:16 PM
To: 'The Sandbox Discussion List'
Subject: [Sndbox] FW: [milliways-L] MARTIAN AIR FORCE DENIES STORIES OF
UFOCRASH





Got the following report off the internet, and thought I should pass it
along.


MARTIAN AIR FORCE DENIES STORIES OF UFO CRASH

Gusev Crater (MPI) - A spokesthing for Mars Air Force denounced as false
rumors that an alien space craft crashed in the desert, outside of Ares
Vallis on Saturday. Appearing at a press conference today, General Rgrmrmy
The Lesser stated that "the object was, in fact, a harmless high-altitude
weather balloon, not an alien spacecraft".

The story broke late Saturday night when a major stationed at nearby Ares
Vallis Air Force Base contacted the Gusev Crater Daily Record with a story
about a strange, balloon-shaped object which allegedly came down in the
nearby desert, "bouncing" several times before coming to a stop, and
"deflating in a sudden explosion of alien gases."

Minutes later, General Rgrmrmy The Lesser contacted the Daily Record
telepathically to contradict the earlier report. General Rgrmrmy The Lesser
stated that hysterical stories of a detachable vehicle roaming across the
Martian desert were blatant fiction, provoked by incidences involving swamp
gas. But the general public has been slow to accept the Air Force's
explanation of recent events, preferring to speculate on the "other-worldly"
nature of the crash debris. Conspiracy theorists have condemned Rgrmrmy's
statements as evidence of "an obvious government cover-up," pointing out
that Mars has no swamps. They point to the release of secret government
memos detailing attempts to discredit reports of the landings by alien space
craft. The memos discuss strategies to avoid troubles similar to those
caused by the War of the Worlds radio program of years ago. The program,
which featured a sensational story of gigantic oxygen breathing two-eyed
invaders from Earth, sparked planet wide panic.

Local residents like Driv Rhodo, who lives in the area of the alleged
landings, are even more skeptical. "I seen it with my own 5 eyes" claimed
Rhodo last week. "I've lived here over 300 years, most of my adult
life-form. Them things used to be few and far between but lately they come
in every few years or so. The government wants to bury the truth but I can
tell you what's real. The Earthlings are going to invade and the government
is spending our hard earned tax dollars on press releases and denials
instead of preparing for the battle to come."

A spokesthing denied any government involvement in the disappearance of
Rhodo, who has not been seen since shortly after the interview, claiming
"Any sentient being knows that a planet with the concentrations of water and
oxygen found on Earth is a deadly and inhospitable environment for the
formation of life, much less intelligent life. The fear and consternation
caused by the unfounded and wild speculations of citizens like Rhodo are a
traitorous disservice to the citizens of Mars."




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