Title: The Daily Humorscope
|
![]() |
Charles Mims's Personal Humorscope
for Saturday, January 17, 2004
If you cry "forward," you must without fail make plain in what
direction to go.
Anton Chekhov |
Aries (March 21 - April 19)
Life is beginning to bet a bit stale, isn't it? Whenever
that happens to me, I concoct some sort of prune-related recipe and
send it off to the food editor of the local daily. You might give that
a try.
Taurus (April 20 - May 20)
Go find something flat, and scribble on it. People have
been doing that for tens of thousands of years, and it's mostly been
ok.
Gemini (May 21 - June 20)
Good day to make a nice pot of gruel. Isn't it strange,
how difficult it is these days to find gruel on the menu at
restaurants? Perhaps you should start your own restaurant (e.g. The
Gruel Pot) to rectify that situation.
Cancer (June 21 - July 22)
A martian creature named Yg, who is more than ten thousand
years old yet has the disposition of a cranky two-year old child, is
hiding under your house. That's where the raisin-cookies have been
going.
Leo (July 23 - August 22)
Today may fail to live up to your expectations, but
remember: it's what it's not that makes it what it is.
Virgo (August 23 - September 22)
You will be driven into a panic today by the thought that
you will live to see music by Oingo Boingo referred to as "classic"
rock. Believe me, that's not nearly as strange as clothing trends will
be, such as the "big elbow" look.
Libra (September 22 - October 22)
Stinky feet day, today. Don't go to a Japanese restaurant.
Scorpio (October 23 - November 21)
You will get a new job, soon, in which your most important
activity will be to periodically "jiggle a little thingie." While it
will pay well, this will prove to be somewhat awkward to explain at
parties. Eventually you will hit on the ploy of saying you sell
insurance...
Sagittarius (November 22 - December 21)
You will go to a Chinese restaurant and decide to try
something new. Don't do it! It's not as good as your favorite.
Capricorn (December 22 - January 20)
Today you will make a bold fashion statement, which will
eventually become a trend and sweep the nation. "Executive Grunge",
you'll call it.
Aquarius (January 21 - February 18)
You will be plagued by theological doubts today, and will
flirt with the idea of changing your religion. Subconsciously, this is
because you're envious of the really cool hats some of the people in
other religions get to wear.
Pisces (February 19 - March 20)
Today is the second-to-last day, of the 19th segment of
your life. Time to learn to appreciate tofu (bean curd).
|
[>>Charles<<]
|
_______________________________________________
Sndbox mailing list
[EMAIL PROTECTED]
http://a8.mewebdns-a8.com/mailman/listinfo/sndbox_sandboxmail.net
