Leno
The good news, the mars rover and NASA are communicating with each other
again. The bad news Ben and J. Lo aren’t.
That’s the sad news, Ben Affleck and Jennifer have broken up. This time Jen
didn’t even use her usual method of dumping a guy – divorce.
Of course, everyone in Hollywood is wondering the same thing: "Why couldn’t
they have broken up before "Gigli”?
I like Ben, he’s a friend of ours. I feel sorry for him. He’s got to be
pretty depressed – it’s going to be hard for him to leave her behind.
Cold wave is still covering large parts of New England. In some parts of the
east the temperature is dropping faster than Howard Dean’s lead in New
Hampshire.
Last night at the democratic debate it was a much more toned down Howard
Dean. You know what that means….the medication is working.
Today up in New Hampshire, Dennis Kucinich, he’s another presidential
candidate, went on a ten-stop bus tour. Finally, the driver said to him, "End of
the line, pal. You gotta get out.”
In his State of The Union address President Bush said, "Our nation must
defend the sanctity of marriage.” Let me tell you something - he is serious. In
fact, earlier today Britney Spears was arrested and sent to Guantanamo Bay. You
don’t play with marriage.
Former President Bill Clinton says he’s lost so much weight on his new diet,
that he has to get all new clothes. At least that’s what he told Hillary when
she walked in and caught him with his pants down.
According to a new study by the center for disease control, obesity costs
taxpayers $75 billion a year, which works out to $175 per person. You know what
that means? Obesity is taking food from our mouths.
Maybe instead of income, people should be taxed according to weight. On your
tax form, you write down how much you weigh, multiply that by ten – we’d pay the
deficit off like that!
This weekend Pete Rose is scheduled to do a book signing at a casino. You
what better way to show Major League Baseball you’re not addicted to gambling by
spending the weekend at a casino.
To raise money - Michael Jackson is auctioning off one of his cars. It’s a
2001 Bentley. Very expensive car. It even has child restraints – okay they’re
called handcuffs.
The first Christian themed nudist camp is going to open in Florida. So far
they’ve got 28 couples and 300 priests have signed up.
Charles Mims
In politics an absurdity is not a handicap. -
Napoleon Bonaparte
_______________________________________________
Sndbox mailing list
[EMAIL PROTECTED]
http://a8.mewebdns-a8.com/mailman/listinfo/sndbox_sandboxmail.net
