>
>
>New Medications for Women
>
>D A M N I T O L
> Take 2 and the rest of the world
can go to hell for up to 8 fullhours.
> ST. M O M M A'S W O R T
> Plant extract that treats mom's
depression by rendering
>preschoolers unconscious for up to two days.
>
>E M P T Y N E S T R O G E N
> Suppository that
eliminates melancholy and loneliness by reminding you of how awful they
were as teenagers and how you couldn't wait till they moved out.
>
>P E P T O B I M B O
> Liquid silicone drink for single
women. Two full cups swallowed before an evening out increases breast
size, decreases intelligence, and prevents conception.
> D U M B E R O L
> When taken with Peptobimbo, can
cause dangerously low IQ,resulting in enjoyment of country music and
pickup trucks.
> F L I P I T O R
> Increases life expectancy of
commuters by controlling road rage and the urge to flip off other drivers.
>
>M E N I C I L L I N
> Potent anti-boy-otic for older
women. Increases resistance
>to such lethal lines as, "You make me want to be a better
person...Can we get naked now?"
>
>B U Y A G R A
> Injectable stimulant taken prior to
shopping. Increases
>potency, duration, and credit limit of spending spree.
>
>J A C K A S S P I R I N
> Relieves headache caused by a man
who can't remember your birthday, anniversary or phone number.
>A N T I-T A L K S I D E N T
> A spray carried in a purse or
wallet to be used on anyone
>too eager to share their life stories with total strangers
in elevators.
>
