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Charles Mims's Personal Humorscope
for Monday, January 26, 2004
We aim to please ... You aim too, please. written on a bathroom on
route 66
contributed by Thomas J. Walkup III
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Aries (March 21 - April 19)
Excellent day to fritter things away.
Taurus (April 20 - May 20)
Good day to hide an iguana in someone's satchel. They will
not be expecting that, so everyone will get a good chuckle out of it.
Gemini (May 21 - June 20)
Let the golden sun of happiness burn away your inner fog
of disgruntlement. Remember: gruntled people are more fun!
Cancer (June 21 - July 22)
Your incisors will seem to be getting longer today, and
you will find sunlight hurts your eyes. Probably just a cold, and
nothing to worry about.
Leo (July 23 - August 22)
Be careful if you try to be funny, today. Although you are
normally reknowned for your dry wit, you may be a bit soggy, today.
Virgo (August 23 - September 22)
You will find a renewed interest in home repair or
remodelling soon. Oddly, that will occur shortly after a visit by your
nephew.
Libra (September 22 - October 22)
In a stroke of pure marketing genious, you will start a
company to sell fresh-roasted peanut butter door-to-door. Your sales
people may find the peanut costumes a bit uncomfortable, at first,
however.
Scorpio (October 23 - November 21)
Good time to be happy-go-lucky! You'll find that works out
a lot better than the sad-go-accident-prone you've been trying.
Sagittarius (November 22 - December 21)
Remember that silly song The Monster Mash?
Beginning today, you will start sounding a lot like the lead singer in
that song.
Capricorn (December 22 - January 20)
Your relationship is reaching the point where you may as
well discuss the Big Question - there's no point in going further if
you don't see eye to eye on that. By Big Question I'm referring to
"crunchy" versus "creamy", of course. Why, what did you think I meant?
Aquarius (January 21 - February 18)
Excellent day to fill some pantyhose with popcorn and do
the reindeer dance.
Pisces (February 19 - March 20)
Your children will return, but they'll be unnaturally
quiet and good-natured. Eventually, you'll discover how the switch was
made. |
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