I believe something like this should work. 

    conversations = sqlalchemy.orm.relationship("Conversation",
                                                primaryjoin=
"""or_(User.id==Conversation.user_id_1,
                                                                  
 User.id==Conversation.user_id_2,
                                                                   )""",
                                                order_by=
"Conversation.id.desc()",
                                                )


i also think you'll need to make an explicit relationship for a user1 and 
user2 relationship instead of using back_populates.  i could be wrong. 
personally i would make separate relationships though, because having an 
undordered list for them makes little sense. 

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