And "You will" is _so_ geek. As are passive sentences. "Will" indicates that the object that is in the future. It should never be used for currently-running software, licensing, ...
we will be issued a userid On 08/11/2012 01:39 PM, Philip Newton wrote: > Hi there, > > http://www.hwaci.com/sw/sqlite/cerod.html contains the sentence " This > utility program (called cerod_build.exe) reads an ordinary, > uncompressed, and unencrypted SQLite database built by a public-domain > version of SQLite and constructs and equivalent compressed and > encrypted CEROD database." Oxford or serial comma... "called" is extraneous. Perhaps the parentheses should be commas. No...they need to indicate a higher level of separation than the commas separating "ordinary, uncompressed, and unencrypted." The second "and" should be "an": "... and constructs _an_ equivalent ...". It also goes on to say that "After you purchase a license to use CEROD, we will be issued a userid and password to the on-line software configuration management system for CEROD. " I presume that should either be "you will be issued" or "we will issue you"; rather than "we will be issued". > Yay for the active voice! Also the 'will' may be extraneous. This action > occurs after payment. (Strunk & White's 13th rule: "Omit needless words." > And then, "You can then log in and download the latest CEROD source > code and documentation whenever you like. Your license is perpetual, > so your login never expires. You can log in as often as you like to > obtain the latest updates. " "Licensed users may" "can" indicates the > ability to do an action, "may" gives permission to do so. "Then" is > extraneous. Correct use of "log in" and "login." > "Whenever you like" is extraneous. without "And then," "You may log in to download the latest CEROD source code and documentation. You have a perpetual license. Your login never expires. You may log in at any time to obtain the latest updates." The "at any time" and "the latest" may be extraneous; they would be understood. However, they may need to be retained for clarity. It also may a matter of preference between "...license. Your", or "license; your", or "license: your" That is, unless someone can come up with a definitive rule. > It might be good to be consistent about whether the user will "log in" > or "login" between the first and the last of those three sentences. > (In the second sentence, it's a noun, so it can only be the one-word > variant.) Good catch. Users can "log in" if they have a "login." > > Cheers, > Philip Is this good for a promotion in the grammar police? Ted, ex-IBM documentation writer. _______________________________________________ sqlite-users mailing list sqlite-users@sqlite.org http://sqlite.org:8080/cgi-bin/mailman/listinfo/sqlite-users
