> Date: Thu, 08 Sep 2005 10:11:25 -0400 > From: Joe Street <[EMAIL PROTECTED]> > Subject: [Biofuel] Canada's secret biological weapon WAS Iran's > Nuclear Program > To: Biofuel@sustainablelists.org > Message-ID: <[EMAIL PROTECTED]> > Content-Type: text/plain; charset="us-ascii" > > Well as everybody knows the government of Canada is actively supporting > biological and genetics research. Apparently they want Canada to be a > world leader in biotech but this is really just a front for a covert > military program called operation Beaver Fever. Canada's seemingly > blithe willingness to forgo nukes was really a strategic move to gain > trust and avoid scrutiny while behind the scenes progress on the new > weapon of massive destruction accelerated. The lack of military spending > was part of the smoke screen and makes perfect sense when it is realized > that it is completely unnecessary to have conventional forces when such > a terrible and loathesome weapon is at your disposal. This plan > dovetailed with the parallel research track in cloning and transgenics > to mass produce a weapon so terrible that even it's proponents quake in > fear when considering the possibility that the weapon could one day fall > into the wrong hands. > Taking a hint from local farmers who are able to grow turkeys to massive > proportions by a combination of drugs and ground up cows, scientists > set to work on genetically engineering a variant of the nefarious rodent > already renown for it's great capacity for destruction in the forests of > the Great White North. The result is said to be more viscious than the > creature depicted in the Monty Python's The Holy Grail and it is > whispered that it is refered to by operatives as "The Bushwhacker" but > it's official name is the DeHaviland Turbobeaver. By transplanting the > magnetic compass gene from the Canada Goose into the rodent brain and > programming it to migrate south losses due to gnawing 'friendlies' is > expected to be virtually nonexistent. Research into spontaneous human > combustion has also enabled the scientists to install a latent > capability into the animals to act as incindiary devices when they get > close to washington so that the hugely successful tactic of burning the > Whitehouse which was used to such great effect when Canadian troops > defeated America in 1812 (or was it? -well one of the many times we > defeated them anyways) can be used once again by remote control while > the 'troops' prepare for vacation and celebration in Cuba on all the > money saved by not buying US made military hardware. > > I understand that plans are already afoot so that once Canada takes over > in it's new role as world superpower/police international law will > quickly be updated to ensure that all products being sold or traded will > have to be made from softwood and it will be illegal for Texas to fly > the lone star. French and english will become THE official language, > Michael Jackson will be incarcerated and Michael Moore will be knighted. > Noam Chomsky will recieve the Nobel Prize and Hockey Night in Canada > (with only the original six) will play 24/7 on every TV channel on the > federal networks with reruns of the Canada-Russia series evey weekend. > Tom Cruise will not be able to save the day at the eleventh hour but may > be allowed to wear platform shoes if he is on his best behaviour and > stops spouting off about scientology. > > So be forewarned neighbor you have but one chance to move north and join > us before the first wave is released and it is too late! I am letting > you know because you seem to be a good bunch of people on this list. > Save yourselves from a horrible fate. > > Joe >
Massive Canadian Beaver Hunt Launched (Ottawa) (AP) Numerous investigations are reported underway to determine what became of all the money which has been spent on the government project codenamed "Operation Beaver Feaver". Sources have estimated spending on this project to be in the hundreds of milions of dollars. This seems to be an inflated figure as it would represent an overwhelming majority of the Canadian GDP. While details of exactly what this project intailed are still unclear, it has been determined that it doesn't have anything to do with an unspeakable social disease which spread due to an underfunded and otherwise overstressed national medical program. It is now believed the project had something to do with firey rats and fat turkeys. This, however, cannot be verified as it also describes many in political and corporate operations. Amid rumors the intended target of the program was Washington, DC with something called a "Bushwhacker" President Bush was heard commenting "Better men have tried" (followed of course by a nasaly "heh eh"). It's unclear how this whole debacle will affect Canadian/US trade relations. It does seem, as long as Canada has trees the US will be interested in trade. Furthermore, the talks of the sale of Tom Cruise's contract to the CBC are said to be proceeding full steam and is widely favored by most in the US. In fact the US is still willing to pay well for his departure but Tony Orlando is holding out for a better rate on his shoes. Many view the proposed export of Mr. Cruise as nothing more then an evil ploy by a people desperate for revenge to the attempted Canadian musical invasion of the 80's and 90's (note: the 70's are exempted from this as it's known worldwide that Rush and Neil Young were fantastic). While nobody is sure what turns these interesting stories will take, it is clear the US is still not massing troops near the US/Canadian borders but rather favoring it's ongoing economic and socialogical approach to northern domination (French excluded). Actually, much <3 for Canadians, John > John I wrote: > > >> > >>In all seriousness, can you really imagine US citizens taking up arms > >>against Canada? No one I know would. I would go to jail first. > >> > >> > >> > >> > > > >I have identified a few waves in the nefarious Canadian assault on the > >US: Bryan Adams, Celine Dion, Barenaked Ladies, Avril Lavine, Shania > >Twain and the like. Oh it's on Canada, it's on! > > > >_______________________________________________ _______________________________________________ Biofuel mailing list Biofuel@sustainablelists.org http://sustainablelists.org/mailman/listinfo/biofuel_sustainablelists.org Biofuel at Journey to Forever: http://journeytoforever.org/biofuel.html Search the combined Biofuel and Biofuels-biz list archives (50,000 messages): http://www.mail-archive.com/biofuel@sustainablelists.org/
