That's a BAD joke! You got me! I was ready to go celebrate!

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> TOP STORY
>
>
>
>       
> <http://lists.grist.org/t?r=2&c=2687&l=17&ctl=21BAE:F33C1C00D9C350E452361665ADECA67E>
>       With Gore Galore
>       Al Gore will run as Independent for president, Bloomberg tapped as veep
>
>
>
>       You might want to sit down for this: Al
> Gore has announced his candidacy for president.
> Wait, wait, don't get up yet: Gore, a lifelong
> Democrat, will run as an Independent. He's even
> announced his vice-prez pick: New York City Mayor
> Michael Bloomberg, who only last week dodged
> rumors that he'd be Barack Obama's second fiddle.
> But Bloomberg only has eyes for Dreamy Al. "This
> is a man who gets things done," Bloomberg said.
> "We're tired of waiting on Democrat and
> Republican bickering." In a speech in Washington,
> D.C., on Tuesday morning, Gore        listed climate
> change, foreign policy, and getting the economy
> out of the dumps as his top priorities. And he
> minced no words in deflecting skepticism about
> his chances. "With all due respect to Senators
> Clinton, Obama, and McCain," he said, "what
> America needs is Al Gore."
>
>
>
>       [
> <http://lists.grist.org/t?r=2&c=2687&l=17&ctl=21BAC:F33C1C00D9C350E452361665ADECA67E>email
> |
>       
> <http://lists.grist.org/t?r=2&c=2687&l=17&ctl=21BAD:F33C1C00D9C350E452361665ADECA67E>discuss
> |
>       
> <http://lists.grist.org/t?r=2&c=2687&l=17&ctl=21BA8:F33C1C00D9C350E452361665ADECA67E>+digg
> |
>       
> <http://lists.grist.org/t?r=2&c=2687&l=17&ctl=21BA9:F33C1C00D9C350E452361665ADECA67E>+del.icio.us
> ]
>
>
>
> sources:
>       
> <http://lists.grist.org/t?r=2&c=2687&l=17&ctl=21BA4:F33C1C00D9C350E452361665ADECA67E>The
> New York Times,
>       
> <http://lists.grist.org/t?r=2&c=2687&l=17&ctl=21BA4:F33C1C00D9C350E452361665ADECA67E>Reuters,
>       
> <http://lists.grist.org/t?r=2&c=2687&l=17&ctl=21BA4:F33C1C00D9C350E452361665ADECA67E>The
> Washington Post,
>       
> <http://lists.grist.org/t?r=2&c=2687&l=17&ctl=21BA4:F33C1C00D9C350E452361665ADECA67E>Associated
> Press
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
> TODAY'S NEWS
>
>
>
>       <>      Martha, Martha, Martha!
>       Alice Waters plans to sell Chez Panisse to Martha Stewart
>
>
>
>       Fresh-food guru Alice Waters is retiring
> from the restaurant biz, with plans to sell her
> famed Chez Panisse restaurant in Berkeley to none
> other than ... Martha Stewart. "It's been a good
> run for me, and I'm excited about the
> restaurant's future," says Waters, who turns 65
> years old this month. "Having the oomph of the
> Martha Stewart brand behind local and seasonal
> food will be thrilling." Um, yes. Thrilling.
>       Stewart, whose media company recently
> acquired the rights to TV chef Emeril Lagasse's
> franchise, assured through a spokesperson that
> while "[w]e are considering changing the
> restaurant's name to Chez Martha ... the dining
> experience will remain much the same." Waters
> plans to focus her now free-er time on her Edible
> Schoolyard project at a Berkeley elementary school.
>
>
>
>
>
> sources:
> <http://lists.grist.org/t?r=2&c=2687&l=17&ctl=21BA4:F33C1C00D9C350E452361665ADECA67E>San
> Francisco Chronicle,
>       
> <http://lists.grist.org/t?r=2&c=2687&l=17&ctl=21BA4:F33C1C00D9C350E452361665ADECA67E>The
> New York Times
>
>
>
>
>
>
>       <>      Where There's a Will, There's ... Um, Just a Will
>       McCain wants to run White House on nuclear power
>
>
>
>       In a campaign speech at Mississippi State
> University Monday, John McCain declared that by
> the end of his potential presidency, the White
> House will be powered "entirely by renewable
> energy." Is that so, John? And what kind of
> renewable energy might that be? "I will work hard
> to ensure that Americans are safe from
> terrorists, and I will conduct that work from a
> White House reliant on safe, clean, nuclear power
> produced right here in the United States," McCain
> said. Really, words fail us.
>
>
>
>
>
> sources:
> <http://lists.grist.org/t?r=2&c=2687&l=17&ctl=21BA4:F33C1C00D9C350E452361665ADECA67E>The
> Hill,
>       
> <http://lists.grist.org/t?r=2&c=2687&l=17&ctl=21BA4:F33C1C00D9C350E452361665ADECA67E>The
> Reflector
>
>
>
>
>
>
>       Barging In
>       USDA researching floating farmland for biofuel crops
>
>
>
>       The U.S. Department of Agriculture is
> doing "preliminary research" into growing
> biofuel-bound crops on enormous floating barges,
> USDA Secretary Ed Schafer said at the Mid-America
> Farm Exposition in Salina, Kan., last week.
> Critics of the Bush administration's generous
> subsidies for biofuel crops   have raised
> concerns about reduced farmland for food crops,
> and the barge scheme would address that, said
> Schafer. He added, "This 'oceanic farmland' would
> also sequester carbon." The USDA Agricultural
> Research Service plans to present its research on
> amber waves of floating grain within the next week.
>
>
>
>
>
> sources:
> <http://lists.grist.org/t?r=2&c=2687&l=17&ctl=21BA4:F33C1C00D9C350E452361665ADECA67E>Forbes,
>       
> <http://lists.grist.org/t?r=2&c=2687&l=17&ctl=21BA4:F33C1C00D9C350E452361665ADECA67E>Associated
> Press
>
>
>
>
>
>
>       <>      Also Changes Name to DumbCar
>       General Motors buys SmartCar, shuts down plant
>
>
>
>       Yesterday, General Motors bought
> smart-'n'-tiny SmartCar from Mercedes-Benz
> (itself a subsidiary of Daimler AG). And before
> we even had time to write it up, news emerged
> that GM has already shut down a SmartCar plant in
> Michigan. GM execs say they're merely
> streamlining and no jobs will be lost -- laid-off
> employees will be transitioned to elsewhere in
> the company. Activists, however, are skeptical of
> the motives of        General Motors, which starred so
> unforgettably in the documentary Who Killed the
> Electric Car? Will the enviro-beloved, teeny-tiny
> Smart Fortwo, which just made its U.S. debut in
> January, meet the EV-1's grisly end? Stay tuned.
>
>
>
>
>
> sources:
> <http://lists.grist.org/t?r=2&c=2687&l=17&ctl=21BA4:F33C1C00D9C350E452361665ADECA67E>The
> Wall Street Journal,
>       
> <http://lists.grist.org/t?r=2&c=2687&l=17&ctl=21BA4:F33C1C00D9C350E452361665ADECA67E>The
> Washington Post,
>       
> <http://lists.grist.org/t?r=2&c=2687&l=17&ctl=21BA4:F33C1C00D9C350E452361665ADECA67E>Detroit
> Free Press
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
> GRIST COLUMNS AND FEATURES
>
>
>
>       <>      Exhale to the Chief
>       Umbra on breathing
>
>
>
>       Q. Dear Umbra,
>
> I was thinking, while I was exercising the other
> day, that maybe my exertion (aka panting) was
> adding to global warming. Could excess breathing
> put lots of carbon dioxide into the air? Should
> we all be trying to breathe less?
>
> Carl
> Annapolis, Md.
>
> A. Dearest Carl,
>
> Take a deep breath. What I am about to say might
> shock you, but it is an inescapable truth of life
> in the 21st century ...
>
> Read the rest of
> <http://lists.grist.org/t?r=2&c=2687&l=17&ctl=21BA4:F33C1C00D9C350E452361665ADECA67E>Umbra's
> answer.
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>       Ouch! Your Leg!
>       Grist proud of self for funny fooling
>
>
>
>       The news in this email is as fake as a
> Seattle tan. Happy April Fool's Day!
>
>
>
>
>
> see also, in Grist:
> <http://lists.grist.org/t?r=2&c=2687&l=17&ctl=21BA4:F33C1C00D9C350E452361665ADECA67E>April
> Foolery from past years
>
>
>
>
>
>
>       Coming Wednesday: How to green your underwear drawer (no, really!)
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>       OPINION & ANALYSIS
>
>
>
> <http://lists.grist.org/t?r=2&c=2687&l=17&ctl=21BA3:F33C1C00D9C350E452361665ADECA67E>
>
>
>       
> <http://lists.grist.org/t?r=2&c=2687&l=17&ctl=21BA3:F33C1C00D9C350E452361665ADECA67E>Go
> with the snow. New campaign will relocate polar
> bears to Antarctica.
> by Lisa Hymas
>
>
>
>       
> <http://lists.grist.org/t?r=2&c=2687&l=17&ctl=21BA4:F33C1C00D9C350E452361665ADECA67E>Blink
> and you won't miss it. 'Moderately Paced Food'
> movement aims to find middle ground.
> by Tom Philpott
>
>
>
>       
> <http://lists.grist.org/t?r=2&c=2687&l=17&ctl=21BA4:F33C1C00D9C350E452361665ADECA67E>Have
> I mentioned this before? Coal is the enemy of the
> human race.
> by David Roberts
>
>
>
>       
> <http://lists.grist.org/t?r=2&c=2687&l=17&ctl=21BA4:F33C1C00D9C350E452361665ADECA67E>On
> the Ball: Undergarments edition. Jock straps go
> green.
> by Sarah K. Burkhalter
>
>
>
>       
> <http://lists.grist.org/t?r=2&c=2687&l=17&ctl=21BA4:F33C1C00D9C350E452361665ADECA67E>It's
> gonna be bald. Natalie Portman preggers with
> Moby's love child.
> by Sarah van Schagen
>
>
>
>       
> <http://lists.grist.org/t?r=2&c=2687&l=17&ctl=21BA4:F33C1C00D9C350E452361665ADECA67E>Debunking
> Joseph Romm: Part XVI. Don't be a
> climate-change-delayer denier.
> by Katy Balatero
>
>
>
>       ADVERTISEMENT
>       
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>
>
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> --
> Elan Shapiro
> Sustainable Tompkins Community Partnership Coordinator
> Sustainable Living Associates, Principal
> Frog's Way B&B
> 211 Rachel Carson Way
> Ithaca, NY 14850
> 607-275-0249    607-592-8402 Cell
>
> "We must be the change we want to see in the world"
>                 Mohandas Gandhi
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