----- Original Message ----- From: "Onj" <o...@andrelouis.com>
To: "talk2" <talk2@AndreLouis.COM> Sent: Sunday, December 25, 2005 4:44 AM Subject: The Talk2 List MY MOTHER TAUGHT ME...
MY MOTHER TAUGHT ME... 1. My Mother taught me TO APPRECIATE A JOB WELL DONE. "If you're going to kill each other, do it outside. I just finished cleaning." 2. My mother taught me RELIGION. "You better pray that will come out of the carpet." 3. My mother taught me about TIME TRAVEL. "If you don't start behaving, I'm going to knock you into the middle of next week!" 4. My mother taught me LOGIC. "Because I said so, that's why." 5. My mother taught me MORE LOGIC. "If you fall out of that swing and break your neck, you're not going to the store with me." 6. My mother taught me IRONY. "Keep crying, and I'll give you something to cry about." 7. My mother taught me about the science of OSMOSIS. "Shut your mouth and eat your supper." 8. My mother taught me about CONTORTIONISM. "Will you look at that dirt on the back of your neck!" 9. My mother taught me about STAMINA. "You'll sit there until all that spinach is gone." X_X 10. My mother taught me about WEATHER. "This room of yours looks as if a tornado went through it, killed it, then ressurected it again to let the hurricane some fun." 11. My mother taught me about HYPOCRISY. "If I told you once, I've told you a million times. Don't exaggerate!" 12. My mother taught me the CIRCLE OF LIFE. "I brought you into this world, and I can take you out." O.O 13. My mother taught me about BEHAVIOR MODIFICATION. "Stop acting like your father!" 14. My mother taught me about ENVY. "There are millions of less fortunate children in this world who don't have wonderful parents like you do." =.=;; 15. My mother taught me about ANTICIPATION. "Just you wait until we get home." 16. My mother taught me about RECEIVING. "You are going to get it when you get home!" 17. My mother taught me MEDICAL SCIENCE. "If you don't stop crossing your eyes, they are going to freeze that way." 18. My mother taught me ESP. "Put your sweater on; don't you think I know when you’re cold?" 19. My mother taught me HUMOR. "When that lawn mower cuts off your toes, don't come running to me." 20. My mother taught me HOW TO BECOME AN ADULT. "If you don't eat your vegetables, you'll never grow up." 21. My mother taught me GENETICS. "You're just like your father." 22. My mother taught me about my ROOTS. "Shut that door behind you. Do you think you were born in a barn?" 23. My mother taught me WISDOM. "When you get to be my age, you'll understand." 24. My mother taught me about SAFE SEX. "Chocolate has the same effect as sex on your brain. Eat it and you'll have less of a chance at getting those STDs you oh-so desire." 25. My mother taught me about the responsibilty of having PETS. "Your brother just missed the toilet. Do me a favor and go clean it up." 26. My mother taught me to be afraid of people with SHARP OBJECTS "There. I'm done cutting your hair. And the back of your shirt. And sorry for cutting out a chunk of your neck and eyebrow. You shouldn't have made me mad earlier." >.< 27. My mother taught me KARMA. "...And I should trust you with a sharp object after your brother stole your book and you threatened to kill him...why?" 28. And my favorite: my mother taught me about REVENGE. "One day you'll have kids, and I hope they turn out just like you!" Sincerely yours Andre P. Louis Uncopyright, free music, compositions, Web-hosting and the beyond Radio Network? Visit one of the sites listed below: Main site: http://AndreLouis.COM My Live Journal: http://LJ.AndreLouis.COM The Beyond Radio Network (TBRN:) http://www.TBRN.NET Online contacts: Email and NET Messenger: an...@andrelouis.com Skype: Andre_Louis Aim: FreakyFwoof Bitwise: FreakyFwoof Telephone contacts: In the United States: +1-203-9875455 Home: +44-207-2212126 Mobile: +44-7967-462729 Did you miss a message? Well, don't. http://www.mail-archive.com/talk2%40andrelouis.com/ has it for you. Never miss a Talk2 message again.
