Razorgirl, thank you for bringing up this topic. You are right. I am back at my computer, so everyone beware! Here I go again! Read this at your leisure, if you wish, because it might be a long message. I don't know what it is going to be yet.
Razorgirl, I want to take your point a bit further. In the non-tango world, the issues of power between men and women are perceived in a somewhat simplistic way because, however it looks, it works for most people and they do not want to look any further. Tango is more intuitive, more sensitive and more demanding in that realm, whether you want it or not. At the very first encounter, which may last a few months, a person's simple power emerges as an issue and stands in front of the person for consideration. Am I good enough? Will he/she dance with me? Can I do this? Can I invite? Will he/she like me? I am afraid. Tango is a mirror of all of the insecurities a person may have. When a person, any person, begins to dance tango, Tango puts a mirror in front of them and says "Look! These are your insecurities. What do you want to do about them? If you do nothing, you will be hurt and disappointed and you will not dance." So people do. Everyone. Often unconsciously because they want the transformation that tango offers them. This is my point that transcends cultures. Argentine people go through this process as well. It is a process of Tango. A much deeper level of transformation actually allows the true masculine and feminine power to emerge. Once a person begins to overcome their insecurities, it begins to show not only in tango, but in the rest of their life. In a way, struggling and loving tango helps people to become who they truly are and who they were meant to be. I don't want to talk about this right now. It is a fascinating and exciting topic for me and it brings many concepts that I use when I share tango with others by teaching. But this is about the power and so I want to stay with this focus. The masculine and feminine power in tango do not compete with each other. They do not take away from each other. Instead, the feminine can only be powerful if the masculine is powerful and the masculine cannot be powerful if the feminine is not powerful. In the ancient world, the feminine was presented as the true power of the Universe. For those who have not had much learning about this, The DaVinci Code is a great presentation of that, both the book and the movie. But both men and women have both the masculine and the feminine. That means that the power of the Universe is in both, not just in the women. I am speaking a somewhat Jungian language here because it is more congruent with the Western thought. So in tango, the woman is not powerful if the man is not, and the man's power is trapped, if the woman he dances with is weak in her power. That is why the follower's technique classes are very useful. Women learn to connect with their bodies in the movement of tango and bring forward their powerful feminine essence. When men feel, and I mean FEEL (because I know that you, gentlemen, like to talk about thinking, but live, navigate and negotiate by feeling that you do not talk about because it is a natural way of being for you) that the woman is not competing with them for THEIR power, they emerge powerful and free. So, this was my point about the embrace. When a man feels his power and embraces a woman in tango (or in life) from that power, it is pure, non-negotiable and fearless. It can never be sleazy or insecure because sleazy means a block of a man's power and fear. For that, ladies, you have a huge power. If you accept an invitation to dance from your feminine power, gorgeous and secure, which every one of you has (it might be hidden, but it is there), the man, any man, even a rank beginner, has no choice but to show up in his best masculine power. And men will be very grateful to you. Not mentally, and often not consciously, but in feeling. This is what Argentines practice subconsciously in life and in tango. Consciously it is men, women and the relationships. Subconsciously, it is the integrity of the feminine of masculine energy and power. In the US, the feminist movement was much needed. It was about resources and change of the social structure, and many things of this delicate balance between the masculine and feminine had to be sacrificed. There was no other choice, even if there was another awareness. But the feminine and masculine power is so incredibly strong that it will emerge. If any of you are interested, read Carl Jung's works on anima and animus. He observed that men and women tend to live in masculine or feminine energy for the first half or a third of their lives. And women could live in the masculine and men in the feminine. But then, around the age of 35 and later, a transformation begins to occur which is inevitable for everyone. Anima and Animus want to be together, so the imbalances begin to be renegotiated and a person usually embarks on a life-changing journey. That is why many men and women change careers, leave multi-decade long marriages or suddenly get married, suddenly decide to have children after clearly never wanting to in their younger years, etc. Tango is an amazing place when transformations occur. For Argentine people who had danced for decades, tango accompanied their life and transformations. Outside of Argentina, people come to tango differently, and so tango may be that much more powerful for them. But the feminine and the masculine MUST be together in the dance. On another note, men being the predators and women the prey is simplistic. Women want to be pursued and ultimately caught, but the manner in which this happens makes or breaks the deal. Women want to be hunted, if you wish, but "just so". So if the hunter is to be successful, he will develop his skills in a way that his conquest will be successful. Pure force does not work. That is what seduction is all about - everywhere - in tango and in life. And the tango embrace is between the masculine and the feminine. When the woman is in her feminine and the man is embracing her from his feminine energy, it usually does not feel good for the woman. When a woman embraces the man from her masculine power, it usually does not feel good for the man. If people do not take care of the embrace, they are missing an opportunity to seduce his/her partner into a tango that they may remember for the rest of their lives. Warmest regards to everyone, Nina At 11:58 AM 7/25/2007, Razor Girl wrote: >Hi everyone, > >I haven't written to this list in a long time and also I apologize >if I am taking this out of context or anything but I had to pipe in >when I saw this statement from (I believe it was) Dani: > >"The man is the predator, the woman is the prey, as has been since >time immemorial " > >First of all, I am not going to argue that the above statement might >be the opinion of some. But I think it's a really narrow minded way >of looking at the complexity of the relationship between men and >women. And it inspires me to address what I often find to be a >misconceived view of the relationship between the leader and follower in tango. > >Sometimes I have found that men get on these power trips about >leading and neglect to acknowledge the true fact that the follower >has an equal amount of influence on the dance and that it is truly a >partnership. Even the most machismo men can not deny the powerful >role of the follower. > >Here are a couple of things to consider about the role of the >follower and her power to influence the dance: > >1. It is the woman's choice who she dances with. She allows herself >to be approached or not, she selects whether or not to catch a man's >gaze. I would go so far as to say that most of the time it is >really the woman doing the asking with her posture and eye contact >and not really the other way around. > >2. The follower is in control of the dance. Without someone who has >agreed to follow you, there can be no lead. There is nothing >"prey"-like about this and it is a completely conscious and active >choice on the part of the follower. Without her trust and response >your lead means nothing. Also, the way in which she interprets the >lead is her choice, so as a leader you have to be aware of and open >to the possibilities she presents. > >3. The follower has an extremely influential role in the expression >of musicality. Her timing, responsiveness, and the manner in which >she executes the movements which are lead are all completely her >responsibility. Also, the spaces in between what you lead are hers >to play with. > >The best dances happen when both the leader and follower are >striving to make the dance delicious for the other person while >confidently expressing their personal uniqueness in a warm and >trusting embrace. > >Be kind to one another. Don't confuse femininity and masculinity >with weak and strong or predator and prey. > >-Razorgirl > >_______________________________________________ >Tango-L mailing list >Tango-L@mit.edu >http://mailman.mit.edu/mailman/listinfo/tango-l _______________________________________________ Tango-L mailing list Tango-L@mit.edu http://mailman.mit.edu/mailman/listinfo/tango-l