It is common knowledge in the tango world that things are different in the milongas of Buenos Aires. The traditions of milongas are respected by portenos who learned them as teenagers. If teachers don't talk about the codes during classes, dancers are able to read about the traditions in magazines and on the Internet. There is no excuse for arriving in Buenos Aires without a clue of what to expect in the milongas. The key is to try blending in rather than standing out.
A man from Milan came for his first visit to Buenos Aires. He is a friend and student of a very good friend of mine, so he telephoned me. I suggested he go to a certain milonga that I would be attending the following day. I told him to tell the host that he came at my recommendation and wanted the host to let him know where I was seated. He arrived early and was given a front-row table. When I arrived, the host told me where the man was seated. We did not sit together, but I accepted his invitation by cabeceo to dance. I knew that he had been instructed by our mutual friend on proper conduct in the milongas. Our tanda together gave other women the opportunity to see him dancing. I pointed out to him the two best female dancers in the milonga. He was very patient and observed the dancing. Later he was able to have tandas with both women because they had seen him dancing with me. I would say that his first milonga in Buenos Aires was a complete success. He danced simply in the outer circle, invited women with the cabeceo, danced to the music, and escorted his partners back to their table. He told me how thrilled he was to be dancing in Buenos Aires. I saw that he was prepared for the best milongas and told him where to go. Two women from the Northeastern USA were seated at the table next to mine. As they were preparing to change their shoes at the table, I asked if they were aware of the location of the ladies' room. They took their shoebags and went there to change. One returned to put on her makeup at the table. The other woman's husband, who was seated across the room, crossed the floor and approached the table to get her to dance. She was preoccupied with her makeup and told him to ask me. I had already accepted an invitation by the man from Milan. The American proceeded to walk out to the floor and turned around to wait for me to arrive. I told him that I don't accept verbal invitations, and that I had already accepted the invitation of another man. Later I told his wife that he should use the cabeceo in this milonga. She said that they are aware of the codes, but he just wanted to dance. He's a musician and is usually playing tango rather than dancing it. He is much shorter than his wife, so they don't usually dance together. I saw that he couldn't dance, but at least he could find the beat of the music. He was so impatient that he finally got someone to dance with him, but it was the last half of the last dance of a tanda. He invited the same woman for the next tanda at the beginning. This man was seated in the second row of tables behind some of the best dancers who attend regularly. His wife accepted the invitation of a man who came to her table. She had several tandas with a tall man who couldn't dance. The two women conversed loudly and continuously rather than enjoying the music and dancing. _______________________________________________ Tango-L mailing list Tango-L@mit.edu http://mailman.mit.edu/mailman/listinfo/tango-l