I suspect that most of the disagreements which have surfaced in the discussions 
of Mars, Venus, Violins, etc. arise largely because some participants do not 
distinguish between, on the one hand, dancing and, on the other, learning to 
dance. The distinction is important. Some Tango groups make progress only when 
they move from defining themselves as a dance class to defining themselves as a 
dance club.

 

When you are learning, you need all the help that you can get - verbal 
descriptions, mantras, exercises, demonstrations, supervised Practicas, 
unsupervised Practicas, videos - and there are probably many more. That is the 
stage at which the analysis, the breaking the dance down into its tiny 
components, is most important. Even then, the flash of insight often occurs 
only when one does something with an experienced partner. For example, it is at 
this stage that it is often useful for a man to dance the lady's part and to 
discover what it feels like to be led. One hopes that eventually the feeling 
will transfer itself to muscle memory and you do things without thinking about 
them.

 

When you are dancing, that conscious learning ceases to be the central focus. 
You then become just half of a couple. For the man, ideally you are connected 
to your partner and you just move - and she moves with you. Some times she will 
do what you expected and intended. At other times she will surprise you. When 
it is going well, she will both surprise and delight you.

 

Thus, it is not a question of either technique or feeling - it is both. The 
technique must come first - largely because most of us are not born with the 
natural ability to walk on the balls of the feet, to soften the knees, to 
'collect' or brush the knees, to swivel on one leg, or master all the other 
elements which are needed. Once you have those skills, but only then, it 
becomes intuitive and you can concentrate on feeling for and with your partner.

 

Perhaps the recent discussion has been stimulated by the participants having 
had different experiences. Some ladies will have danced with men who are, in 
all innocence, bullies – they try to push or pull their partner into a movement 
which they intend (often an inappropriate movement which they have learned at a 
recent class). Some of the men will have danced with ladies who, again in all 
innocence either cannot or do not respond to subtle hints (changes of body 
motion or angle, slight movements of the shoulders, tiny lifts or drops, etc.) 
and they feel that they have to be more forceful. In both cases, a little 
patience (or some quiet work at a Parctica) will usually make the problem go 
away.

 

So, rather than complaining about your partner, try to think what you can do to 
make the dance more enjoyable for them. After all, you can usually do more 
about your problems than you can about theirs.

 

Laurie (Laurence)

 

Feliz Navidad a todos, y brazos tangueros

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