Megan wrote, "I had the feeling that he walked away thinking, "Cecilia gave me such a warm smile!""
Trust me, that is not what he was thinking. He was feeling rejected. And it was not such a warm rejection. A warm rejection is when the woman says, thank you for asking, I am resting, ask me another time, or , I have already promised the next few tandas to someone else. If this happens on two separate occasions, the man should get the idea there will never be another time and stop asking that woman. Unless he is totally clueless, in which case a blunt sledgehammer is called for. My main lament is that in NYC where i dance, almost no one uses or comprehends the cabaceo, anyway most milongas are so dark you could not see a cabaceo from more than 3 feet away anyway. This lighting is getting worse by the month. maybe its to conserve energy in a bad economy. but if its so dark it is hard to judge a womans dance skill before inviting. I try to avoid dancing with a woman who does not meet my eyes or smile when I pass by. What is the point? I do not want to dance with someone who accepted my invite because she did not want to hurt my feelings. That is called a mercy tanda. And it is as emotionally bereft as mercy sex. But there are many men who verbally invite and think nothing of intimidating the woman into accepting. Usually these are not the better dancers. I guess I am a luddite, i use the cabaceo whenever possible, hoping to spread this wonderful custom. Occasionally I will resort to verbal invite, and usually regret it. When a woman rejects my invite with a one word no or shake of her head, but within 5 seconds leaps up to dance with the latest argentine long-haired poor- postured neo- tango import on sale, I will ask her again as soon as the following two conditions occur: pigs fly, and hell freezes over. One of those is insufficient; if both of those conditions occur, I will gladly ask her again. Use the cabaceo. It works. ( If you can see it.) _______________________________________________ Tango-L mailing list Tango-L@mit.edu http://mailman.mit.edu/mailman/listinfo/tango-l