I don't know your dancing level, but if you are a beginning dancer, these are not things that you should be concerned about. Tango is difficult and takes time and practice to just get a good foundation. That takes enough concentration and effort to keep you busy without worrying about whether you connect or not. And even if you aren't a beginner, you can't just find the answers to these questions as if they were math formulas. First you have to learn to dance well (and hopefully learn from someone with good technique.) Connection to music or your partner are not things that can be taught, they are something you feel when you are comfortable enough with your dancing to be able to relax and not have to be think about how to do steps correctly and in turn be able to appreciate the nuances of the music. If you spend your time looking for the answers to these questions as if they something finite and concrete you will never learn to dance. Someone might be able to teach you quality of movement because that is often about having good technique (but not exclusively and even then it supposes a certain level of expertise) but the connection to your partner or the music comes from within you and is more of an emotional feeling. If someone claims that they can teach you connection, you should find another teacher.
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