In my early days of dancing tango(first few years or so), I would think nothing 
of approaching men in my community and asking them to dance. If I liked the 
music and wanted to dance with a particular fellow who was not otherwise 
occupied, I'dsieze the initiative. At that point in my tango journey, I had no 
appreciation for the tango experiencewhich Mario has so eloquently described. 
"One of the differences in roles that most impresses me is how the man is 
responsible for the dance itself. That is; he sets the cadence the movements 
the 
vital feel of the dance. He is also responsible for what comes next, this in 
itself can be a BIG job and an intimidating one. This situation is a big reason 
why it should be the man who decides when and with whom to dance.  The music 
and 
the person with whom he dances ought to give him the conviction that he can 
pull 
it off (this song) with her help (be a positive and elegant experience).
The woman's part is equally as challenging, although not being as privy to it 
as 
I am the man's, I cannot but marvel at it when I see it well done. There is a 
combination of both the beauty of surrender and innovation." Nowadays, I would 
prefer to sit, rather than dance with a man who does not feel moved bythe 
music. I would prefer to sit and listen to the music, rather than feel he is 
just going through the motions of dancing with me, because he actually wanted 
to dance that tanda with someone else, but didn't know how to refuse me. This 
is why I use the cabeceo.I want him to put all the meat on the fire (Tango and 
Chaos in BsAs) for me, so that I can feel the freedom within the dance to do 
the same for him.The cabeceo allows us to connect, when the time is right for 
us both. Pat Petroniowww.tangosalonadelaide.blogspot.com
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