I've been on Tango-L for years and have learned so much from almost all of you. I stopped actively participating (contributing) years ago because -- for me -- and that's all I can speak to, I found many of the responses unnecessarily harsh and it "felt" personal. I offer the thought that (more simply) there may be gender differences in communication. Often times, not always, I find the female gender can be a little more sensitive to critiquing and perceive the responses to be harsher judgments, then perhaps was the intent. (Notice I'm attempting to give the benefit of doubt, knowing I can be overly sensitive, myself, at times.) I "try" to sift through the egoic-driven comments that sometimes we human beings are prone to make to get to the information. Sometimes, it reminds me of what a real estate friend said to me not so long ago: There are two ways to have the tallest building: either build it yourself or tear the others down. What becomes a challenge is when we try to make others wrong, in order to make ourselves right. One individual in the these recent posts made a comment to me that we tango dancers have our own healthy supply of egos. So, maybe it's not gender related, maybe it's not even ego related, and maybe it's not even tango dancer related, rather, it's more communication 101 related..... which, I don't know about you, but I can always improve upon.
________________________________ From: Charles Roques <c.roq...@mchsi.com> To: "Tango-L@mit.edu List" <Tango-L@mit.edu> Sent: Wed, February 2, 2011 1:58:02 PM Subject: [Tango-L] Truth in stereotypes I personally think Sherrie has a legitimate complaint and I am a male. I am always admonishing my male students about teaching. They start doing that from the beginning class but it gets worse after they learn a few steps. Teachers have to not only emphasis this but they should correct and constantly remind the males/leaders to not do it. Yes, she is generalizing but many males tend to reinforce this generalization. I also notice that it's the males who over-intellectualize the most on the Tango-L demonstrating more their use of language than actually explaining clearly some point about tango, as if their intellect makes them better dancers. This is the same attitude they bring to the dance floor and practicas. In fact they tend to dominate the discussions on Tango-L as well. I think Sherrie has a valid point. Cheers, Charles _______________________________________________ Tango-L mailing list Tango-L@mit.edu http://mailman.mit.edu/mailman/listinfo/tango-l _______________________________________________ Tango-L mailing list Tango-L@mit.edu http://mailman.mit.edu/mailman/listinfo/tango-l