Dear teachsoc colleagues:
I have enjoyed the responses to Marty's question on dealing with our
feelings about students who don't do the work (or, as I might
conceptualize it, are often not engaged or motivated). I have struggled
with this for as long as I can remember. I have no powerful or wise
response just some thoughts...some of which overlap with previous
responses.
My strategy has been to, as you all do, attempt to prevent the situation
so I don't have to deal with it. I do this, again as many of you, in a
variety of ways but basically by offering the best teaching-learning
experience I can, by applying best practices related to teaching and
learning (and I am constantly reading on this topic), by trying to
"study" engagement of sociology majors, by doing things that
promote intrinsic motivation in my students (I have a little article on
that in The Teaching Professor but a list of ideas is also at
http://www.cat.ilstu.edu/additional/tips/actEngage.php),
by talking openly and honestly with students about such issues, and so
on.
At the same time, I always try to remember that students have choice,
students are "adults," students have complicated lives where
they weigh the costs and benefits of spending time on my class vs. other
critical things in their lives, that it is almost always not
"personal" or "about me" when they are not engaged or
don't spend the time I wish they would, that not all our students are
like the typical high achieving faculty member and a C may be just fine
for some... It is hard. A colleague, an outstanding teacher, once told
me...you do all you can and then, sometimes, you just have to let it go.
I think she is probably right but I don't want to "give up" on
anyone.
Thus, after about 25 years of college level teaching, I still struggle
with negative emotions about this... that I am a "failure," not
doing the "right" thing, should do more and better, should not
give up on any students... What I have come to realize is that that is
ok. I have learned to keep the negative affect at a reasonable
level and to not take these students or situations too personally. I
think I would be more concerned if I reached the point where I did NOT
have such feelings.
So, I guess, I would tell Marty's student(s) that it is ok, ok to care
that much, ok to feel the good and the bad, ok to want all students to be
highly engaged and do the work, and ok to be upset when they don't...as
long as you are doing all you can to help them engage and do the work.
With time and experience and collaboration with colleagues, you will
learn you are not alone and learn to put the upsetting feelings in
perspective and to keep them at a reasonable level.
sorry for the rambling and somewhat disorganized nature of these
thoughts...
Kathleen
