This is a true story - my story, from yesterday:
I was thinking about Tayo, and his search for the meaning of
his journey in this life. Tayo is a character in a fictional story about
an indian in northern New Mexico who is struggling to overcome flashbacks
from the Battan Death March. He is back home, and on a vision quest
across
the desert.
As Tayo lie helplessly tangled in the sagebrush in the morning desert sun,
with the twigs of sage crumbling
down the back of his neck, I was lying on a cold bed in a medical exam
room full of machines that appeared to be from another dimension - possibly
from the 5th World.
Behind the corner of my eye was a doctor - Dr. Marc Kudisch. I couldn't
see what he was up to, but his miniature laptop indicated he was preparing
to
begin my ritual.
My story, like Tayo's, was unfolding into a pattern that I didn't
understand, or was not willing to accept.
My right hand lay across the cold metal bars at the side of the bed.
Stapled to a large
vein on the back of my hand was an IV infusing my body with the world I was
about to enter. A young brunette nurse, who looked like she could be the
twin sister
of my estranged evil sister-in-law, took out a long syringe and injected a
burning translucent fluid into my IV.
I asked her, as I closely examined her facial features, is this supposed to
burn;
and in an instant, I was beamed to the other world.
My life on earth suddenly became irrelevant. I had no knowledge or
desire.
The welfare of my loved ones did not enter my thought, nor did I even have a
thought.
Tayo's superstitious beliefs would have said the witchery of the
white doctors had
conquered Mother Nature and stole Her clock and placed it in a frozen
glacier
high in an alpine valley.
there were no cell phones,
no sirens,
no earth,
no sky,
or anything a human could comprehend
only a peaceful tranquil darkness.
Unknown to me during my visit to this world, that my physical body was still
back on earth.
Back there, machines where exploring my colon and other body cavities like a
prairie dog
tunneling through the open desert *cerros* surrounding Tayo's reservation at
Laguna.
Something startled me. I was angry that someone had woke me up
from one of the best sleeps of my life. There I had been in peace, for
what
I thought was 5 seconds with no dreams - neither good nor bad. But
the clock on the wall indicated an hour had passed that seemed unaccounted
for. And
I was in a completely different facility. My immediate thought was,
what kind of dream had taking place? Tayo would have asked: what had the
white doctors done to me?
Why did they move me to another room, and not performed my ritual?
I noticed people across the room. Was I in a mental ward? If so,
why? Suddenly, I realized
I was one of them and this place was real. My ritual had finished;
and like Tayo, I was not trapped,
but only continuing with my ceremony.
A few minutes passed, and I noticed someone in the room dressed in a nurse's
uniform.
She spoke to me, or I spoke to her. I became aware that I was stuck in
a temporary dimension
between the previous world and my world, but I felt certain that was back
safely on earth.
My wife entered the room, or at least I dreamed she did. I floated
helplessly to a wheel chair
where I was rolled out to my wife's grey mini-van.
I woke up several hours later in my bedroom as if I had never left, and felt
I had dreamed the whole
thing. My stomach was growling inside of hunger. I walked down the
hall to the kitchen,
and quickly searched for food. I scarfed every edible item I could find:
a banana, yogurt,
chocolate-mint girl-scout cookies, a coconut-flavored soft drink.
I lit the gas stove and cooked a bowl of shrimp soup.
Like Tayo, I pondered if I had really completed my ceremony. I had
no memory or feeling
that I had physically attended it; however, laying on the walnut-stained
kitchen table was the proof.
There, stapled together on the edge of the table, were the results of my
colon exam and pictures
of the insides of my body.
I looked out the double-pane window into the backyard enclosed by a grey
wooden fence and stared at
my 3 year old daughter's Fischer-Price playground equipment. I realized
then, that I had been on a
journey much like Tayo's vision quest.
His story, my story and your story are still being told.
I also realized that both Tayo and I need to find a job, and get a life;
as you can't pay your bills by wandering the planet or daydreaming.
David Locklear
