Washington DC - Congress is considering sweeping legislation
that will provide new benefits for many Americans. The Americans
With No Abilities Act (AWNAA) is being hailed as a major legislative
goal by advocates of the millions of Americans who lack any real
skills or ambition.
'Roughly 50 percent of Americans do not possess the competence
and drive necessary to carve out a meaningful role for themselves
in society,' said California Senator Barbara Boxer. 'We can no
longer stand by and allow People of Inability to be ridiculed and
passed over. With this legislation, employers will no longer be able
to grant special favors to a small group of workers, simply because
they have some idea of what they are doing.'
In a Capital Hill press conference, House Majority Leader Nancy
Pelosi and Senate Majority Leader Harry Reid pointed to the
success of the U.S. Postal Service, which has a long-standing policy
of providing opportunity without regard to performance. Approximately
74 percent of postal employees lack any job skills, making this agency
the single largest U.S. employer of Persons of Inability.
Private-sector industries with good records of non-discrimination
against the inept include retail sales (72%), the airline industry
(68%), and home improvement 'warehouse' stores (65%). At the state level,
the Department of Motor Vehicles also has an excellent record of hiring
Persons of Inability (63%).
Under The Americans With No Abilities Act, more than 25 million 'middle
man' positions will be created, with important sounding titles but
little real responsibility, thus providing an illusory sense of purpose and
performance.
Mandatory non-performance-based raises and promotions will be given
so as to guarantee upward mobility for even the most unremarkable
employees. The legislation provides substantial tax breaks to
corporations that promote a significant number of Persons of Inability
into middle-management positions, and gives a tax credit to small and
medium sized businesses that agree to hire one clueless worker for
every two talented hires.
Finally, the AWNAA contains tough new measures to make it more
difficult to discriminate against the Non-Abled, banning, for example,
discriminatory interview questions such as, 'Do you have any skills
or experience that relate to this job?' 'As a Non-Abled person, I can't
be expected to keep up with people who have something going for
them,' said Mary Lou Gertz, who lost her position as a lug-nut twister
at the GM plant in Flint, Michigan, due to her inability to remember
'righty tighty, lefty loosey'. 'This new law should be real good for
people like me,' Gertz added. With the passage of this bill, Gertz and
millions of other untalented citizens will finally see a light at the
end of the tunnel.
Said Senator Dick Durbin (D-IL): 'As a Senator with no abilities, I
believe the same privileges that elected officials enjoy ought to be extended
to every American with no abilities. It is our duty as lawmakers to provide
each and every American citizen, regardless of his or her inadequacy,
with some sort of space to take up in this great Nation and a good
salary for doing so.'
_ _ _ _ _
With no credit to --
--
Alex Sproul, NSS 8086RL/FE
5715 Lee-Jackson Hwy, Greenville VA 24440
540-377-6364 Skype: alex.sproul
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