An interesting one > > > > >Dear aspiring Students, > > >Don’t waste your life going through B. Schools. They are passé. Join our C. >School! We offer excellent courses with most experienced and celebrated >faculty. > >Our speciality – We offer on-the-job training in your chosen elective. > > >Included are leading lights of the country such as Cabinet Ministers; >Celebrated >Chief Ministers; Communication experts; Space scientists; Venerable MPs; >Acclaimed Chief Justices and Advocates; Financial Experts. Also have some >international faculty from Italy, Switzerland and Bahamas. >Our most sought after programmes - >· BC (Bachelor of Corruption), >· MC (Master of Corruption) >· Ph D (Doctor of Philosophy in Corruption) >· Certificate Courses in Financial Engineering; Media Management; Art >of >Interpretation and Communication; Logic etc. > >No age bar, admittance guaranteed for all – irrespective of caste, colour, >creed, sex and religion. Preference given to young aspirants and children from >‘special’ families. > > > >Our specialised institution: > > >*National Institute for Corruption & Criminal Technology in India (NICCTI) >- Affiliated To Both Houses Of Indian Parliament and various State Assemblies >- Listed on the World Corruption Index as the World's Best C-School. > > >OUR COMPREHENSIVE SYLLABUS INCLUDES: >*Financial Frauds - Theory and Practice >*Transfer of funds through ingenious routes without creating Mass Ghotala >*Financial Networking - Movement of money through well engineered networks >between State Party Units and Central Party Unit. > >*Innovative methods to increase donations towards Party Fund. And from >unsuspecting tax payers into your personal accounts in tax havens > >*Theory and application of Popular Bribe concepts and methods like Chai >Pani, >Parcel Change, Gift Box, Colour TV, Foreign Trip and the ever popular - >Children' School Fees. > > >Special Consultative lectures: How to launder money and open accounts in Swiss >banks: Quottrochi, Hasan Ali, AK Telgi, Ketan Parekh, and other leading >politicians and corporate honchos > > > >Case Studies: The Bofors Gun Deal, Allotment of Spectrum, Sale of S Band, >Adarsh >Housing Society, Lavasa City, Coalition Dharma > > > >Special lectures: >1a. Don’t question my integrity - Dr Manmohan Singh >1b Colloborative silence – Dr. Manmohan Singh >1c. Unfinished goals and targets - Dr Manmohan Singh. >2. Zero Loss Game – Kapil Sibal >3. Mere bhains ko anda kaun maara – Lalu Prasad Yadav >4. Gone with the wind – A. Raja & M Karunanidhi >5. What is price rise – Sharad Pawar (you need assistance or interepreter >to understand his speech) > >6. Real meaning of ‘Common’ Wealth – Suresh Kalamadi and partners >7. The art of becoming a King Maker - Niira Radia >8. Managing Behind the Scenes – Barkha Dutt >9. Who killed Jessica: Manu Sharma >10. How to say ‘ta ta’ to Tatas – Mamata Banerji >11. Who polished my shoes? – Behenji >12. How to defreeze accounts in foreign banks: Prof Bhardwaj >13. The art and science of mining – Bellary Reddy Brothers and YS Jagan Mohan >Reddy > >14. Art of pulling the strings - Sonia Gandhi >International Lectures: >· How to quit smoking – William Jefferson (Bill) Clinton >· Dial ‘M’ for murders – Afzal Guru and Ajmal Kasab >· The art of ‘living’ – Osama Bin Laden and Dawood Ibrahim >· Weapons of Mass Destruction – George W Bush and Tony Blair >· Kissa Kursi Ka – Muammar Gaddafi and Pervez Musharraf > >*Public Relations (PR) and Media Management >*Learn how to be MISQUOTED BY THE MEDIA. >*Learn to say the right things to be QUOTED OUT OF CONTEXT.* >* Practical training in PARTY SPOKESMANOLOGY. Learn to argue on TV shows with >other Party representatives - Prof Manish Tewari, Prof Jayanthi Natarajan, and >Prof Ravi Shankar Prasad. > >* Foot In The Mouth Disease: Prof Digvijay Singh also known as 'Diggy Raja' >*Essay On "How To Be A Modern Dhritarashtra": Dr. Manmohan Singh and Dr. M. >Karunanidhi. > >*Lobbying Strategies: Niira Radia assisted by Ms. Barkha Dutt and Prof. Vir >Sanghvi. > >* Sycophancy: Prof. Ved Mehta of 'Outlook' fame >*Develop public gestures like NAMASTE and HAND WAVING. Video demonstration by >leaders of various political parties. > >* Advanced program on proving any Video clipping as “false and manipulated” By >Abhishek Singhvi and Arun Jaitley > >· Law and Order Module: Practical demonstration on committing murders >and rapes (You have to sign an affidavit for joining this program) > >*How to bring Local Police under your control >*Art of applying and getting ANTICIPATORY BAIL! >*Getting bail @ lightning speed if you are ever arrested. > > >*FIGHT ELECTIONS FROM JAIL! Special lectures in this chapter by visiting >Professors Shahbuddin, Pappu Kalani and Pappu Yadav! > > > >*Advanced Riotology >*Methods to build your own storage houses for HOCKEY STICKS AND WEAPONS to >engineer riots. > >*Identify and develop your own fuel depots for easy and widespread dispersal >of >RIOT FRIENDLY PETROL TANKERS > >*Form effective partnerships with local liquor stores for easy procurement of >DESI DARU to get rioters high and ensure awesome rioting! > >*Full study in CONTEMPORARY BUS BURNING. New age exciting methods for >INSTANTANEOUS BUS COMBUSTION. > >*Introductory Kashmir method of inciting riots through STONE THROWING. >*Actual rioting demonstrations under the expert tutelage of Professor Pravin >Togadia, Jagdish Tytler, Sajjan Kumar and Kashmiri separatist leaders > > >*Special Certificate Courses In:* >*"2G SPECTRUM - A Telecommunications Perspective" By Prof Andimuthu Raja >* ''Art of Stealing flats meant for widows of Army Jawans'' **By Prof Ashok >Chavan > >* 'Land Grabbing' By Prof B.S. Yeddy and several others >*''The Correct Standards of Hygiene”** By Professor Lalit Bhanot >*''Sports Medal or No Medal, In Corruption We Always Get Gold Medal''** By >Professor Suresh Kalmadi > >*"Practicing Equal Opportunity principle of Corruption on Non Human Species: >Stealing Money meant for Cattle Fodder"* *By Prof Laloo Prasad Yadav* > >*" How to Build A Corridor around the Taj Mahal which costs more money than > building The Taj Mahal itself" By Prof (Kumari) Mayawati. > > >..And Many More attractive programs..!! >*SO FORGET ALL B. SCHOOLS, BE COOL JOIN C SCHOOL* > >For Applications, write to: >National Institute for Corruption& Criminal Technology in India (NICCTI) , >(Also known as Indian Institute of Good Governance), >Parliament Bhawan, >Parliament Street, >New Delhi 110 001 > >__._,_._
