Emotional intelligence skill (EQ) 3: Nonverbal communication

Being a good communicator requires more than just verbal skills. Often, *
what* you say is less important than *how* you say it, or the other
nonverbal signals you send out—the gestures you make, the way you sit, how
fast or how loud you talk, how close you stand, or how much eye contact you
make. In order to hold the attention of others and build connection and
trust, you need to be aware of, and in control of, this body language. You
also need to be able to accurately read and respond to the nonverbal cues
that other people send you.

These messages don’t stop when someone stops speaking. Even when you’re
silent, you’re still communicating non verbally. Think about what you are
transmitting as well, and if what you say matches what you feel. If you
insist, “I’m fine," while clenching your teeth and looking away, your body
is clearly signaling the opposite. Your nonverbal messages can produce a
sense of interest, trust, excitement, and desire for connection—or they can
generate fear, confusion, distrust, and disinterest.
Tips for improving nonverbal communication

Successful nonverbal communication depends on your ability to manage
stress, recognize your own emotions, and understand the signals you’re
sending and receiving. When communicating:

   - *Focus on the other person.* If you are planning what you’re going to
   say next, daydreaming, or thinking about something else, you are almost
   certain to miss nonverbal cues and other subtleties in the conversation.
   - *Make eye contact.* Eye contact can communicate interest, maintain the
   flow of a conversation, and help gauge the other person’s response.
   - *Pay attention to nonverbal cues *you’re sending and receiving, such
   as facial expression, tone of voice, posture and gestures, touch, and the
   timing and pace of the conversation.


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