Emotional intelligence (EQ) skill 5: Resolve conflict positively

Conflict and disagreements are inevitable in relationships. Two people
can’t possibly have the same needs, opinions, and expectations at all
times. However, that needn’t be a bad thing. Resolving conflict in healthy,
constructive ways can strengthen trust between people. When conflict isn’t
perceived as threatening or punishing, it fosters freedom, creativity, and
safety in relationships.

The ability to manage conflicts in a positive, trust-building way is
supported by the previous four skills of emotional intelligence. Once you
know how to manage stress, stay emotionally present and aware, communicate
non verbally, and use humor and play, you’ll be better equipped to handle
emotionally charged situations and catch and defuse many issues before they
escalate.
Tips for resolving conflict in a trust-building way:

   - *Stay focused in the present.* When you are not holding on to old
   hurts and resentments, you can recognize the reality of a current situation
   and view it as a new opportunity for resolving old feelings about conflicts.
   - *Choose your arguments. *Arguments take time and energy, especially if
   you want to resolve them in a positive way. Consider what is worth arguing
   about and what is not.
   - *Forgive.* Other people’s hurtful behavior is in the past. To resolve
   conflict, you need to give up the urge to punish or seek revenge.
   - *End conflicts that can't be resolved. *It takes two people to keep an
   argument going. You can choose to disengage from a conflict, even if you
   still disagree.


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