Chances
by Lara
[EMAIL PROTECTED] (mailto:[EMAIL PROTECTED])
September 2002
Do not archive, translate or otherwise use this fic without permission. You
are welcome to link to this page.
This is a piece of amateur fiction and not intended to infringe on the
copyrights of Anne Rice or her publishers.Thank you to CC for beta reading.
Chances
The sound of the cars in the streets below was muted. It could not get up so
high, to the top of the buildings. What was noticeable of them were only
their lights, red and white following each other in flowing lines.
It was beautiful to Pandora, though there had been times when she would have
despised this display of light and vitality. The streets were pulsating with
activity, and at the moment she wanted to take part in it. But she could not
abandon her vantage point; she had promised to stand guard, and promises had
to be kept.
She sensed the approaching being long before he could get anywhere close to
the place she was protecting. A silent warning went out, telling him to stay
away. But after a moment she relaxed again. His mind was familiar to her, and
there was no danger coming from him. She sent out an invitation to join her.
"Still up here?" Lestat asked a moment later as he sat down next to her
right at the brink of the roof, letting his legs dangle over the edge.
"Still up here," she confirmed.
"I wonder how long you will insist on this." Smoothing his blond her,
slightly ruffled from the flight, Lestat studied her.
Pandora shrugged. "As long as it takes. I will not leave him unprotected."
Lestat nodded, looking down at the small cars below. "The threats have been
dealt with," he said. "You know that he is safe."
"As safe as he can ever be with that creature still alive." Pandora turned
away and stared across the city. She did not want to listen to those words.
They were too seductive; she too wanted to believe that there was no longer a
reason to worry, but she had thought so before, and it had almost ended in
disaster. When immortality was involved, things were never over.
"I could solve that little problem easily if you all would just let me."
Sighing with what probably was frustration, Lestat lay back. "It would be so
easy, don't you know? You could do it too, in the blink of an eye. But you
insist on staying passive and defend instead of attack. I really wonder why."
Pandora closed her eyes. She had been thinking about this a lot before
making her decision, and she still was not sure that it had been the right
one. It
would truly be no effort at all to find Thorne and do away with him before
he tried again to fulfill Marius' wish. She had grown strong over the
centuries, and he would not have been a match to her.
But still an inner voice told her that she had no right to take his life. It
was a decision only the Queen could make; they all had agreed on this. Even
Marius had bowed to that law, though he had made no move either to stop
Thorne. If she now killed that creature without permission, then she would not
be
better than him. She was not going to descend to that moral level.
"The imp is still with him?" Lestat asked at a sudden. It was an obvious
attempt to fill the silence; he could have easily scanned the building below
to
find out. Hiding from his mental powers would have been impossible.
Pandora exhaled slowly, then lay back too, resting her head next to his. "He
is. He has not left ever since we have come here."
"I wonder why..."
Turning her head a little, Pandora looked into his eyes. "You know why," she
said calmly. "He thinks that it is his fault."
Lestat laughed softly. "That has never made him hover around me," he
returned. But there was understanding in his eyes, so Pandora refrained from
pointing out that while Armand had in the past wanted to hurt Lestat and had
also
done so several times, he had not wished for Santino to die. Maybe Marius had
meant well when after Thorne had been locked away he had told Armand that this
punishment of Santino had also been for his sake. But Armand had no longer
wanted revenge at that point; he had come to understand that Santino had done
what he had because of his belief that it was for the best. They had gone
through similar things before ending up in the covens, and both of them had
set
out to rule in order to survive. Pandora also suspected that Santino had
sought out Armand after the younger vampire had so miraculously survived the
escapade into the sun. She knew that Santino had long been carrying that
particular guilt of ripping Armand out of his life and plunging him into the
dark
world of the covens. And Armand's attempt at suicide had served to remind him
that if he ever wanted to ask for forgiveness or at least understanding, he
should better not wait. They had also been speaking a lot during the last few
days, ever since Armand had joined Pandora in her task of guarding Santino
until he recovered.
She was not quite sure why he was doing this, despite what she had told
Lestat. In her case the reasons were obvious; abandoning Santino to his fate
would have been impossible to do. She had been with him for a decade, and
while
they both had been too stubborn to really become lovers, they had been
friends. Pandora had no reason to wish him anything bad. He had harmed Marius
gravely, but that was something so long past that it had to be forsaken
eventually.
Immortality would be unbearable if feuds and grudges were kept forever.
"Who is the third vampire in the building?" Lestat asked at a sudden. "I
don't recognize him."
Pandora had frozen at his words and immediately scanned their surroundings,
but after a moment of anxiety she relaxed again. "It is Daniel," she said.
Lestat frowned. "He feels... different somehow."
"That is because he is different from the Daniel you knew on the Night
Island," Pandora explained. "His mind is... wandering, not focused on the here
and
now. Life has become too difficult for him, so he has detached himself from
the surreality it is to him."
"But why does he not go to ground then? That would be the natural thing to
do." Lestat shot her a wary look. "Are you denying him that option?"
Pandora shook her head. "No," she said. "If he wishes, he can go to sleep.
But he is not weary enough for that. He feels like I did when the Mother rose.
Going to ground held no temptation then."
"I see... We were wondering what had happened to him."
"We?"
"Louis and I. You know he has always had a soft spot for the boy." Lestat
smiled, rolling onto his side and supporting his head on his elbow as he faced
Pandora. "Daniel should have been his fledgling, not Armand's. It would have
been better for all of them."
Pandora couldn't help agreeing with this. Armand was not the best of makers;
he had been struggling too much to gain stability for himself. There had not
been enough time for a fledgling. And Daniel had in the beginning been too
full of energy, something that had grated on Armand's nerves. Louis, on the
other hand, might have had the patience necessary to deal with such an
exuberant fledgling. And it would have kept him from sinking so far into his
comfortably withdrawn world of books and solitude.
"Daniel is going to last," she said to the world in general. "He is too
strong to fade away. He just needs a rest."
"And you are giving that to him?"
She nodded. "I am offering. I understand how he feels, and that makes it
easier. Marius meant well, but he has never been in that particular state of
mind. He couldn't give Daniel what he needs." She didn't voice her other
reason
- that she no longer trusted Marius to take care of the young one.
"Just don't fall back into that state yourself. I like you far better awake
than sleepwalking."
Pandora smiled a little. "Me, too. But things were difficult then, and it
seemed a good way to escape them. I don't want to be like that again right
now,
but I know that it was just too tempting not to give in."
"Well, if you are ever tempted again, tell me and I'll find something else
to catch your interest."
The way Lestat said this made Pandora hesitate. It was an invitation, but
she was not entirely sure for what. He had almost sounded as if he wanted her
to let him keep her interested in the world right now.
By now the whole coven knew about the disaster called Merrick. David and
Louis were still smitten with the woman, and gossip had it that she was
driving
Lestat and Louis apart. Fledglings had a way to get between maker and lover.
Pandora had experienced it herself when she had made Flavius. He had been the
reason why she and Marius had separated, and a later fledgling had been the
reason why they had stayed apart. Similar things had also happened to Eric
and Mael, and in a way also to Lestat. A fledgling demanded attention, as did
a
lover. Both at the same time was simply too much.
But was this what Lestat was implying? That Louis had no time for him and
that he wanted to occupy himself somehow?
"Thank you for the offer," she said a little cautiously. "I will keep it in
mind."
"Good. It's a shame when you are so quiet. It suits you far better to be
active. You are beautiful then."
Pandora blinked. It had been a few centuries since the last time someone had
flirted with her who was not supposed to become her prey a moment later. But
even if it had been millennia ago, Lestat was obvious enough that she would
have had to be blind not to notice.
"Just what do you want?" she asked, looking at him and trying to figure out
what was going on here.
Lestat held her gaze for a moment, and then she suddenly felt herself being
drawn close to him, his arms tight around her.
"Company," he said.
Pandora had stiffened out of reflex when he had reached for her, but now
told herself to relax. He didn't seem to be about to either bite or kiss her,
and that was a soothing thought.
"Why me?" It was the first question that came to her mind.
He looked at her. "Because you are here. Because you don't look at me and
think that I will only cause trouble. Because I mean it when I say that I like
you when you are awake." His voice was inside her head after a moment, and
she did not immediately slam her shields into place. You mustn't get so
depressed again, chere. But if all you can think of to do is standing guard
here,
then just let me keep you occupied. You, my dear Pandora, are meant to be
alive.
You're convinced of your abilities, she shot back, finding it hard not to
smile at the confident expression on his face.
"Always. So..."
"So what? Am I going to play with you?"
Lestat nodded. "Well, are you?" he asked, shooting her an expectant look.
Play with him? Lestat, with his talent for mischief and problems? Eric would
have said that he was too young for her, that she should be a little more
dignified and at least try to act her age. The others would think that she had
lost her mind if she went with him now. In their eyes, Lestat might be a
charming brat, but a brat nevertheless. Too exuberant, too reckless. Pandora
had
struggled to find stability in her life lately. She had been adrift for too
long. Right now she needed to feel alive, but at the same time she was also
trying to get back to comforting routines.
Saying yes to Lestat would ruin those attempts. She could not picture him
having a routine, not even for boring nights when there was nothing to do.
And yet it was tempting, if only to have company again. She wouldn't have
said that she was feeling lonely - she had company whenever she wanted it, and
she knew that others cared. But that was it, wasn't it? They cared. They were
nice. Because they knew that she needed them sometimes, and that it would be
kind to make her feel comfortable. In a way, Lestat was doing the same. Only
that he had admitted that he wanted company too. He was not doing it solely
for her sake. And
somehow that made it seem more sincere. There was no charity involved here.
It was worth a try.
