EverythingOne One is the loneliest number
That you'll ever do
Two can be as bad as one,
It's the loneliest number since the number one
"No" is the saddest experience you'll ever know
Yes, it's the saddest experience you'll ever know
Because one is the loneliest number
That you'll ever do
One is the loneliest number that you'll ever know It's just no good anymore
since you went away
Now I spend my time just making rhymes of yesterday
Because one is the loneliest number that you'll ever do
One is the loneliest number that you'll ever know
One is the loneliest number
One is the loneliest number
One is the loneliest number
That you'll ever do
One is the loneliest number much, much, worse than two
One is a number divided by two. ~Written by Harry Nilson, 1968. Beautifully
done by Aimee Mann for the Magnolia Soundtrack
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ I had been looking through
Lestat's trunk, feeling slightly guilty that I was going through his personal
things. He was sleeping downstairs on the couch after watching a ridiculous
show called Jerry Sprunger or something of that sort. I had seen it once and
thought of it as distasteful for society to show itself in such a manner.
However, what was I to know. I was the prudish Victorian gentleman that never
had a thought of sex or emotional freedom in his life. How I hate being a
stereotype. Being a monster and an evil man that must prey on humans for his
well-being. Oh, I must not start laughing or Lestat will know that I up in the
attic. Monster and evil, please! If nothing more I love watching my victims
struggle and whither under me as I lick their necks and digs my fangs into
their warm neck. I would not trade that experience for the world…Well maybe
having an orgy between Lestat and Armand could top that, but what are the
chances of having those two in the same room with out a fight occurring. Oh,
Louis just look at the photos and items here and then go and play the simple
man to Lestat. I have never been like this before, but shortly after Lestat
awoke something in me changed. I do not know what it could be but I'm more
forward than before and I am also a little happier about the state of my life
and everything with it. I must say that this is the first time in my life that
I can actually say a loud that 'I am Louis, a vampire, the child and lover of
Lestat de Lioncourt, father to my darling Claudia, and book lover.' And be
proud of those feelings and what they mean to the world and me. "Louis what are
you doing?" I turn around and see Lestat looking at me with anger in his eyes.
How the hell will I get out of this one? "I thought you had a look see at my
personal belongings before." What does he mean, I never looked through his
trunk before. The confusion must have shown on my face for he quickly gave an
apology and stated that if I wanted to see this I could have just asked. "But
what do you mean Lestat? I want to know where that last comment came from."
"Nothing Louis. Now please scoot over so that can at least show you my own
items." Moving to the side in order to give Lestat some room to sit, I feel
that I should inquire more, but decide against it since it might actually turn
this sudden mood swing into a violent temper. "Now here is a picture of myself
when I was six years old. Wasn't I beautiful." He put the painting in front of
my face. "Actually you're missing your two front teeth." I stated the obvious
disfigurement to his beauty. He actually looked at me seriously and seemed
ready to leave the room. "I'm sorry Lestat, please do not leave. It is just
that you still have the habit of showing your two special teeth everywhere.
It's nice to see that little things have not changed even after two hundred
years." Brimming with pride, and I did give enough to last the rest of the
year, he leaned forward and kissed me full on the lips. "Louis if I didn't know
better that was a 'come on'." "Lestat, look at me, would I ever do a 'come
on.'" I batted my lashes and gave a lustful look towards him, causing the
desired reaction of a laughing fit from Lestat. "I know you to well, Louis." He
again kissed my lips lightly and turned to rummage through his things. "Here is
Nicolas' violin. Still has the Enkil's foot print." The smile was a pained one
but he wanted to keep a light mood on things and who was I to argue. "Oh, and
here is our daughters last dress." He placed it on the trunk and we just looked
at it for the longest time, not wanting to break the moment of realization that
we were not only going through Lestat's past but also mine. Thus uniting our
common journey through the devils road together. "It's nice that you kept the
dress." "Actually I stole it from Armand. He accidentally revealed its location
while we were all staying at the Night Island and I knew that it was my mission
to retrieve it back." "Well then, it was nice of him to keep it for us." "I
doubt it that it was for our well being, Louis." Another moment of silence
befell us as we each remembered our times with Armand and everything that that
child/man did to us. "Do you think that he actually cut off her head and did
that Frankenstein experiment?" I finally had enough courage to ask the question
that only Lestat and Armand would ever know the answers to. "If Armand did
that, then I am the son of a pauper." "Actually you were, Lestat. Your father
was extremely poor and…" "Louis, please!" Lestat sighed and put the dress aside
and picked up a well beat up diary. "To tell you the truth I don't know why he
said that, but he most certainly did not do that experiment." Sighing again and
flipping through the pages casually as a mortal he continued, "His whole book
was filled with half-truths and pure lies and he did it for no other reason
besides the fact that he felt all he was doing was telling a story just like
you, I, and Pandora had done before. Not that there wasn't any truth to it all,
but a majority, just like ours, are all broken pieces from a Chinese vase. Even
though we know how it looked like before, it can never be glued back to it's
original condition." I had to smile at Lestat this time. "I never thought that
you would be telling me philosophy about life and our misbegotten past
recollections. So you are saying that what I remember is never correct, even
though vampires are supposed to have the best memory in the world." "True but
to a certain degree. For all that we remember are the things that we want to."
"So Armand only remember the parts that he had sex and I the parts that I was
depressed and you the parts that glamorized yourself. Which leaves Pandora with
the best interpretation of life, then." "And why is that." "Because she
actually told it for the sake of telling a life and not a story." Nodding his
head in agreement, Lestat placed the diary aside, "Enough with this
philosophical mumbo jumbo. Next item please." "That is it, no more television
for you young man." "I'm older than you." He smiled bearing all his teeth.
"Please as if you can scare me with that." "That is it young man, no more late
night movie rendezvous with you. Speaking valley-girl, I'd never. Today's
children what are they thinking." He kept shaking his head and acting like an
old grumpy father. "I'm not grumpy, Louis." "How did you? I never said
anything." "Did I say grumpy? I actually said the trunk is empty. See there is
nothing more." Looking down I saw that there was a black cloth on the bottom of
the trunk; slowly removing it I uncovered a painting that contained my whole
family. "Than what is that?" I asked softly. Picking up the painting I admired
my whole family united together for a picture that we never posed for. "Why did
you do this?" "I wanted you to be happy!" Was his only response to this. "How
come I never saw this before?" "You didn't want to." "What do you mean? Had I
been told I would have wanted to have see this." "Time passes and we forget but
the written word never forgets what we thought at that time." With that he
handed to me his diary set to February 1793. February 1793 The painting is
complete, but I feel that Louis may never get to see it. I was distraught with
how to help him find some peace in his new way of life. He has lost all of his
family now and I know that they meant a great deal to him so I commissioned a
painting with all the members in it, excluding myself of course. It looked so
beautiful when it was completed that I gave the painter twice the amount he had
charged me for. Truly, a breath-taking piece. Returning home I thought of the
many ways that I could present this to him. Finally deciding to put it in my
room, I thought at the time that maybe the painting might lead to another
course of action. However, I should have known that Louis was not into anything
of that nature. He hates me as much as he hates being a vampire. I mean nothing
to him. I rushed to my room and put the painting on the bed. Walking into the
living room I found Louis solemn and in his own world as he has been for the
past few nights. "Louis I have something to show you." He is startled by
request and just looked into my eyes not saying a word. "Well don't you want to
see it?" He still did not reply. This is not a good sign. "What can you
possibly show me that could have any meaning to me!" I was actually at a loss
of words. Trying to keep my calm, I respond that it would be something that he
would absolutely love. "Love! How can YOU talk about love, you arrogant
monster. I would be surprised if you even knew what such a feeling felt like."
He threw those words at me and I replied the only way I that knew how. "Well I
at least do not kill those that I love." This was not the best thing to say,
for he was one me that instant and punched me repeatedly until I grabbed hold
of his hands and threw him back, breaking the some furniture in the process.
Getting up and composing my self I turned towards my room and only turned back
to see him straightening himself out, "You would not know love is, even if it
slapped you across the face." I said as I closed the door. He began throwing
things at random usually aimed at my door. I heard some neighbours coming by
our door asking if everything was fine. But I do not care about them, Louis can
take care of them, I just wanted to rip the painting into shreds. How stupid
could I be to think that anything I did could repair the past. We are so
different that at times I have no idea what I saw in him in the first place.
The only clear thing is that he hates me plain and simple. So why do I time and
time again, still try to win him over. The only way that we could ever find
peace in this relationship is if either of us lays unconscious. I am nothing.
But looking at the picture, I decided to put the painting away in a place that
HE would never find it. Then to hell with Louis and all his stupid feelings.
I'm tired and alone and even the fire cannot give me comfort anymore. L.L.
After reading it a few times, my heart shrank and I realized what he had meant
earlier. In my memoir, I had continuously portrayed myself as the victim of the
relationship but I also had a great part as the abuser and the perpetrator of
our long and endless fights. "It's okay, everything is forgiven." He leans
forward hugs me as my tears begin to stream down my face. "In the end it will
always be my fault." Looking up and touching his face I look into his eyes and
come to realization that he has always been the victim of everything. He is
still that little six-year-old child that only wants love and understanding
from the people around him and there has been no one to provide that. "You poor
child. You poor innocent child. All you want is love and all that we give is
hate." "Louis I am neither of those things. Besides you would not understand."
Looking into his eyes I can see the tears forming in them as he tries not to
cry like a child. "But I can understand, don't you see! I finally have come to
understand you. You have poured your soul open to me by doing this." I hug him
and do not lose my grip as I say the words that he has been waiting for, "I
love you and I want to drink your blood." Looking at me stunned, Lestat pushes
me away and gets up. "You offered it to me before so why can I not accept it
now." "Because you do not understand what you are asking for. Things are
different now, Lou." "Really, the only difference that I can see is that we are
in an attic instead of sitting along the beach in Miami." "How did you? I
thought that I had….How?" He stumbled those words as he slowly sat down on the
floor once more. "It seems that the mind trick you used on us wore off. David
and myself slowly began to remember everything that had occurred and were
generally pissed that you had done such a thing." "I didn't want to hurt you
Lou." "I know." I crawled to where he was sitting and sat on his lap. "Then you
remembered everything. Why did you do this, then?" "I wanted to see how long it
would take you to ask me that question again." "What if I never asked, or this
staged production never work, what would you do? Continue with different
attempts until I made a fool of myself and poured my soul once more." Nodding
with a yes, I only seemed to fuel Lestat's anger. "You fucking bastard. I hate
you Louis! I hate you. Why do you always do this to me! Why do you…always…have
to…hurt me?" He uttered the last sentence in between his cries. Holding him
tightly I restrain him physically but hear numerous objects break down stairs.
"Shh, Lestat, please. Listen to me." I try to speak to him as many parents do
to their younger children. "I'm not afraid of losing my soul or my being,
because you, my love have proven that you still have them. By what we have been
through tonight is nothing short of proof that the two of us can be together
with out losing what we so truly love in each other." "Really!?" "Yes." "You
really want to be with me?" "Yes." A few seconds pass as he finally realizes
what this means and hugs me tightly afraid that for a second I may decide to
say no. Looking into my eyes for any doubt, he leans forward to kiss me on the
lips. Opening my mouth we eagerly search each others mouth as we used to do in
the past. Pushing a few items out of our way, Lestat lays me down and kisses
all over my face and neck. Finally settling on the neck he bites and takes two
gulps before telling me to the same. Moving his hair away I bite into his neck
and draw as much blood as I can. Finally nothing can separate us. Not our past,
our mental barriers, hunger, or even the sun. We finally have found the only
other person that could understand us. "What do I mean to you Louis?"
"Everything…" Looking through the window at the paling sky we see the sun
slowly rise up and welcome us to another glorious day. THE END
