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Sorry for the delay in responding to your
email.
It took me much more time than I thought it
would to wrap my house in duct tape and plastic sheeting to ward off a
biological attack. It wasn't easy, but I think I've finally got the place
air tight for now.
At first, I was just going to create one safe room like the experts on TV were advising everyone to do. But I'm a little claustrophobic, so I decided to just seal the entire inside of my house. And then as an extra added precaution, I decided to seal the entire outside of my house as well. The neighbors gave me some strange looks until I told them I'm tenting for termites. I think they may be getting a little bit suspicious though. I converted my living room into a
decontamination chamber, so getting in and out is a little bit of a hassle, but
it could be a whole lot worse. Be that as it may, I sure do feel a whole
lot safer now. I just hope the attack, when it comes, doesn't
last too long because I've noticed a lack of oxygen in
here. But let's not dwell on that.
The important thing is I'm now fully prepared for the terrorist attacks our Homeland Security folks assure us are coming any day now. Personally, I have absolutely no doubt whatsoever they are coming. Well I see we've been officially elevated to a
an Orange Alert again! That makes all of my extra work seem even more
worth while and now I'm really glad I have my house sealed up tight. Quite
frankly, these terrorists seem a little desperate to me. But let's not dwell on
that.
That's why I loaded up an extra cart at
Home Depot with duct tape and rolls of plastic sheeting. I had to pay a
little more for the clear plastic but it's worth every extra penny spent
because it lets light inside the house. Luckily, I'm usually dressed
like a constructon worker when I go to Home Depot so I didn't raise too
many eyebrows. The clerks probably just thought I was protecting a
construction job from rain or something, and not one of
those wackos preparing for a biological attack.
But let's not dwell on that.
Warren
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