Seems to me that what we are saying is the same as we clinicians always tell our co-dependents: "You can't make your [significant other] stop drinking/doing drugs/etc." It's the individual who must do the changing. As teachers we can offer opportunities for students to see something differently than they have in the past, but as Louis said, "That conversation with themselves that we may trigger is far more important, influencing, and lasting than anything we can say or do. In other words, we can't touch a raw nerve unless there is a raw nerve that they allow us to touch."
The most important postcard that I ever got in the mail was from a young woman that I had in class at least 8 years prior to her writing to me to say, "I know now that some of the things you talked about were important in my life. I wish I had known that then." Bob W Indiana University Kokomo Kokomo, IN Louis_Schmier wrote: > On Sun, 20 Jan 2002, jim clark wrote: > > An early and coughing good morning. Blasted cold has kept me off the > streets for almost a month :-((. Jim, see you point. One thing that I > have been toying with a lot lately, I am coming to believe that we cannot > change students, that is, we cannot do something to them. If what we are > or do sticks to them, it is because something within them is sticky. It's > not the words I say that are important; it is the words they say to > themeselves. That conversation with themselves that we may trigger is far > more important, influencing, and lasting than anything we can say or do. > In other words, we can't touch a raw nerve unless there is a raw nerve > that they allow us to touch. In the last analysis, if someone says > something to me, I decide if I accept ownership of the words. If I do, > they are mine; if I don't, they are ineffective and they still belong to > the speaker. Mysterious. Needs more thinking. > > Make it a good day. > > --Louis-- > --- You are currently subscribed to tips as: [EMAIL PROTECTED] To unsubscribe send a blank email to [EMAIL PROTECTED]
