Transgendered Sea Anemone Denounced As 'Abomination' By Clergy

HUNTSVILLE, AL—A coalition of Baptist clergymen spoke out Monday against the
Telia felina, a transgendered sea anemone they are decrying as "base and
depraved.

"This filthy anemone, which exhibits both male and female characteristics, is
turning our oceans' intertidal zones into dens of sin and perversion," said
Rev. William Chester, spokesman for the Save Our Seas Coalition, a Huntsville-
based activist group dedicated to "the preservation of aquatic decency and
morality." "For God knows how long, this twisted sea creature has been running
rampant in our oceans, spreading its unnatural, bisexual lifestyle. And it's
high time somebody took a stand."

The controversial anemone, common to warm-water reefs and basins worldwide, has
been practicing its alternative sexual lifestyle at least as far back as 1859,
when Charles Darwin first catalogued its phylum and species. Since then, over
40 subspecies of Telia felina have been identified as dually gendered.

The Baptist group also strongly denounced the anemone's reproductive habits and
family structure.

"Unlike so many respectable, God-fearing creatures, the Telia felina reproduces
asexually, openly mocking traditional family values by giving birth to and
raising its young in a single-parent setting," Chester said. "This anti-
Christian anemone, which has the audacity to think that a child can grow up
properly without the benefit of two loving parents, is truly the Murphy Brown
of the deep."

Added Chester: "If you still doubt the pain and suffering wrought by this
undersea abomination, just look into the eyes of a young anemone child forced
to grow up wondering why Mommy and Daddy live in the same body. This, my
friends, is not natural."

As part of its campaign against the invertebrate, Save Our Seas is calling upon
Greenpeace and other environmental groups to cease their defense of endangered
species and regions that fail to uphold high moral standards. The group is also
threatening a boycott of aquariums that display the Telia felina or any other
creature of questionable character.

"Is this the kind of marine invertebrate we want our children to see on their
school field trips to the aquarium?" Chester asked. "By putting this sort of
filth on display in our nation's aquariums—aquariums that are often federally
funded with your tax dollars—we send our children the message that the
transsexual lifestyle is not merely to be accepted, but encouraged."

"It is truly sad to see what could have been an upstanding Christian creature
cross over to a life of depravity and abasement," Pastor Kenneth Boyle,
director of the Loaves And Fishes Academy Of Christian Marine Biology, said of
the Telia felina. "Just look at its flamboyant bright green and gold
coloration. And its hundreds of effeminate tentacles, which sway back and forth
temptingly in an effort to lure the spiritually weak. The Bible says that on
the fifth day, God filled the oceans with living creatures, but surely this is
not what He intended."
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Stephen

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Stephen L. Black, Ph.D.
Department of Psychology
Bishop's University                e-mail:  [EMAIL PROTECTED]
Lennoxville, QC J1M 1Z7
Canada

Dept web page at http://www.ubishops.ca/ccc/div/soc/psy
TIPS discussion list for psychology teachers at
http://faculty.frostburg.edu/psyc/southerly/tips/index.htm
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