On Fri, 4 Aug 2000, Pat Cabe implored:
> Okay, Stephen, translate this for us dummies.
And Annette Taylor pleaded:
> Ok now enlighten us who can't pass the test please :-)
So, belatedly catching up on my e-mail, because you asked,
because it will help you recognize Canadians in your class, and
(mostly) because it amuses me, here goes:
>
> > You know you're Canadian when:
> >
> > 1. You stand in "line-ups" at the movie, not lines.
Yes.
> > 2. You're not offended by the term, "Homo Milk".
Means homogenized milk. Doesn't the Excited States have that?
> > 3. You understand the sentence, "Could you please pass me a
> > serviette, I just spilled my poutine".
Serviette = napkin (we use them in Canada when a sleeve is
unavailable)
Poutine is the national dish of Quebec, consisting of cheese
curds and gravy drizzled over fries, served in a gleaming white
styrofoam container. See: http://www.lard.net/poutine.jpg
> > 4. You eat chocolate bars instead of candy bars.
That's right.
> > 5. You drink pop, not soda.
Usage varies. Not a strong item
> > 6. You know what it means to be on pogey.
to collect unemployment insurance payments when laid off.
> > 7. You know that a mickey and 2-4's mean "Party at the camp,
> > eh!"
I don't have a clue
> > 8. You can drink legally while still a teen.
Yes.
> > 9. You talk about the weather with strangers and friends alike.
Weather is very important to us. We have a lot of it.
> > 10. You don't know or care about the fuss with Cuba, it's just a
> > cheap place to travel with good cigars and no Americans.
You bet.
> > 11. When there is a social problem, you turn to your government
> > to fix it instead of telling them to stay out of it.
Right.
> > 12. You're not sure if the leader of your nation has EVER had sex
> > and you don't want to know if he has!
Absolutely.
> > 13. You get milk in bags as well as cartons and plastic jugs.
I was accosted recently in our local supermarket by a woman from
Massachusetts who had somehow wandered in and was standing
dumbfounded before the dairy cooler. She wanted to know how we
get the milk out of the bags. We put them in special plastic
pitchers, then snip the top of the bag. Clever, eh?
> > 14. Pike is a type of fish, not some part of a highway.
Yes. In Quebec these are called autoroutes.
> > 15. You drive on a highway, not a freeway.
Sometimes.
> > 16. You know what a Robertson screwdriver is.
Square-headed. Very effective.
> > 17. You have Canadian Tire money in your kitchen drawers.
I've discussed this at length. A sure sign of a Canajun.
> > 18. You know that Thrills are something to chew and "taste like
> > soap".
A small candy that does taste like soap. Go figure.
> > 19. You know that Mounties "don't always look like that".
You mean without a horse or red tunic?
> > 20. You dismiss all beers under 6% as "for children and the
> > elderly".
That's right.
> > 21. You know that the Friendly Giant isn't a vegetable product
> > line.
Host of a children's show now, I believe, deceased.
> > 22. You know that Casey and Finnegan are not a Celtic musical
> > group.
Another defunct kid's show. Host: Mr Dressup. For a look at
Canadian culture (an oxymoron to some) check out:
http://aix2.uottawa.ca/~fulcrum/58-12/features/HTTwt.html
> > 23. You participated in "Participaction".
Advertising campaign by the Federal government to get us to
exercise. I didn't participate.
> > 24. You have an Inuit carving by your bedside with the rationale,
> > "What's good enough protection for the Prime Minister is
> > good enough for me".
Inuit = PC term for Eskimo in Canada. Our PM, Jean Chretien,
fended off an intruder in his bedroom with the above weapon.
They're safer than guns. Unfortunately, he wasn't armed with one
when he was attacked with a pie today.
> > 25. You wonder why there isn't a 5 dollar coin yet.
Our one-dollar and two-dollar coins (the loony and toony) are a
great success,
> > 26. Unlike any international assasin/terrorist/spy in the world,
> > you don't possess a Canadian passport.
Too easy to get, apparently.
> > 27. You use a red pen on your non-Canadian textbooks and fill in
> > the missing 'u's from labor, honor, and color.
Actually, Canadians can't decide whether to use British or
American spelling, a typically Canadian dilemma.
> > 28. You know the French equivalents of "free","prize", and "no
> > sugar added", thanks to your extensive education in bilingual
> > cereal packaging.
Bilingual labeling is required. In Canada, cereal package readers
get it in both official languages.
> > 29. You are excited whenever an American television show mentions
> > Canada. You make a mental note to talk about it at work the
> > next day.
We really do.
> > 31. You can do all the hand actions to Sharon, Lois and Bram's
> > "Skin-a-ma-rinky-dinky-doo" opus.
Kiddy entertainers. See http://www.skinnamarink.com/
> > 32. You can eat more than one maple sugar candy without feeling
> > nauseous.
No I can't.
> > 33. You were mad when "The Beachcombers" were taken off the air.
Popular Canadian sitcom set in small coastal town in beautiful
British Columbia. I used to watch it with my kids.
> > 34. You know what a toque is.
Tuque.
> > 35. You have some memento of Doug and Bob.
Early Rick Moranis/Dave Thomas comedy skits from SCTV. Those
hosers.
> > 36. You know Toronto is not a province.
Yes. But is it a city?
> > 37. You never miss "Coaches Corner".
I suspect this may refer to hockey.
> > 38. Back bacon and Kraft Dinner are two of your favourite food
> > groups.
KD is the graduate student's best friend. Don't you have it in
the Benighted States?
> > 39. You use "elastics", not rubber bands
Yes.
> > 40. You're "SO-rry", not sawry
True.
> > 41. Your Mother is your Mum, not your Mom
Usage varies, I believe
> > 42. You know the words of "The Star Spangled Banner" from all the
> > hockey games you've watched on TV
No I don't (see item 37)
> > 43. You see "Dunh da Dunh da Daaah" and immediately think of the
> > "Hockey Night in Canada" anthem
Despite item 37, yes I do.
> > 44. You honestly believe Smarties are better than M&M's, and can
> > taste the difference
A subtle discrimination.
-Stephen
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Stephen Black, Ph.D. tel: (819) 822-9600 ext 2470
Department of Psychology fax: (819) 822-9661
Bishop's University e-mail: [EMAIL PROTECTED]
Lennoxville, QC
J1M 1Z7
Canada Department web page at http://www.ubishops.ca/ccc/div/soc/psy
Check out TIPS listserv for teachers of psychology at:
http://www.frostburg.edu/dept/psyc/southerly/tips/
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