All this archaic, "fall backward" time change we did this weekend with
our clocks and getting in the groove for the Lilly conference in a week got me
thinking about change. How many times have you said with a carved in stone
defiant finality, "It's not me" or "that just me." Well, I'd like to chip away
at that block with a question. Ever wonder who the real "me" really is that
you're talking about? Did you know that every seven years every one of the
cells in our body has regenerated? Every seven years we're biologically new
people? Every seven years, we're all completely changed. Outwardly, we notice
that change. We call it "aging." Yet, inwardly we so often act as it nothing
has happened. But, it does. One night, while in Shanghai, I was telling some
students about how Buddha, Rumi, Picasso, and the brain researchers all agree
that we don't see. We perceive; we interpret. Our sense of self, sense of
others, and sense of the world around us are in many ways illusory. They are
transitory perceptions, feelings, mental constructions, interpretations,
selective awarenesses, picked through conscious or unconscious memories. They
are not permanent actualities. It's a kind of daily rising from the ashes.
It's a sort of perennial dying and being born each moment process while the
succeeding moment is tied to and builds on the preceding ones. There is no
fixed you or me from which to be transformed; there is no precise and static
"is;" there is only "becoming."
We live a world of constant forward motion. I mean, if I think about
it, "me" when I was born is not the "me" when I was ten years old is not the
same "me" when I was 20 is not the same "me" when I was 30 and is not the "me"
now that I've hit 70. Life is not stasis because life is change, and it
changes us. Each day we live in a world that combines greeting "hellos" and
departing "goodbyes." We morph each day of our lives. We learn; we unlearn;
we develop new habits and traits; we shed old ones; we acquire new memories and
bury old ones. Change is natural. Time warping, skin deep Botox, liposuction,
or face lifting that make you appear as someone you aren't are not. So, when
someone says "that's not me" or "I am," or "I can't do that," or "I know how"
or any other way they fight against change, that's unnatural. We can deny it
all we want; we can resist this reality all we want, but in the end we cannot
change it. And, to think we can defeat change will only mean, we'll get bitten
in the ass; we'll be more troubled and beaten up, and thrown more off balance
by the unavoidable reality of change. Trust me, I've been there.
Change, like life, is about constantly making choices. It's
understanding that arriving at the answers to one set of questions isn't where
change and choice end. It's where they begin with a whole new set of questions
demanding a whole new set of choices. It's about letting go of some things
that were and grabbing hold of some things that are. It's about leaving warm,
cozy, and comforting things behind and going out into the cold of the
discomforting unknown. There's no map; there's no compass; there's no guide.
We just have to gulp, deeply inhale, maybe at times tightly close our eyes, and
take a tentative step with belief, hope, and faith. We don’t have to like it;
it's okay to fear it, but we can't stop it from coming. Our lives are about
making choices. How we handle them is up to us, and that shows us what we're
made of. We either adapt to change or we get left behind. It can be a fearful
drag or an adventurous high; it can be "sure death" or it can be an
exhilarating rebirth; it can be paralyzing or it can be another shot at life.
Sure, we want risk-free assurances, comforting guarantees, emotionally
satisfying answers. Sure, we want to ease the pain or, at least, the
uneasiness, that comes with the unknowns of change and growth. Anybody who
tells you they don't isn't really being totally honest. It's not a matter of
erasing the slate; it's a matter of where we focus. We each are really a "I
was," "I am," and "I will be" all at the same time. But here's the truth, from
personal experience, it's never too late to dream; it's always too early to
stop dreaming. It is not enough to dream; you have to make that dream come
true. You don't know what's out there for you, but you wont find out until you
just muster the courage to do something and practice doing it. On any given
day, if you can open your fingers, if you can loosen your grip, if you can let
go, you'll have a better shot at finding your new and truer self by losing your
older self. And, when you do, when you give yourself the gift of life, painful
and terrifying as it may be, you'll feel an adrenaline rush of rejunvenation
that makes it worth it. It's risky. God knows, it's scary as hell. Most us
don't know how to do that, and are afraid of making mistakes while they
struggle to figure it out. But, we are fallible human beings. Accept that. We
make mistakes. We make wrong turns. We are flawed. And, we cannot see into
the future. But, I've discovered that any "oops" that comes from doing
something beats the hell out of a static and stagnating "I can't" or "It's not
me" or "I know how to..."
Make it a good day
-Louis-
Louis Schmier http://www.the
randomthoughts.edublogs.org
Department of History http://www.therandomthoughts.com
Valdosta State University
Valdosta, Georgia 31698 /\ /\ /\ /\
/\
(O) 229-333-5947 /^\\/ \/ \ /\/\__ / \
/ \
(C) 229-630-0821 / \/ \_ \/ / \/ /\/ /
\ /\ \
//\/\/ /\ \__-/__/_/\_\/
\_/__\ \
/\"If you want to climb
mountains,\ /\
_ / \ don't practice on mole
hills" - / \_
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