So, to continue. To be honest, I've looked at that passage many times.
This past time, however, I couldn't stop, didn't want to stop, reflecting on
the meaning it had for my teaching and my life in general. But, that
rumination ran much too long. So, I've cut it into a number of segments.
Please bear with me.
"Watch over your heart with all diligence, for from it flows the
springs of life."
I was just rereading Thich Nhat Hanh's "Peace At Every Step. The Path
of Mindfulness in Everyday Life." In it he says three things that struck me.
First, "When you plant lettuce, if it does not grow well, you don't blame the
lettuce. You look into the reasons it is not doing well. It may need
fertilizer, or more water, or less sun. You never blame the lettuce." Second,
"we must look deeply in order to see and understand the needs, aspirations, and
suffering of the person we love. This is the ground of real love. You cannot
resist loving another person when you really understand him or her." So, he
continues, from time to time we should ask, "Do I understand you enough." "How
can I love you better." What questions! What questions to generate awareness,
attentiveness, alertness, and mindfulness. What questions to transcend blind
spots and come together in deeper connection. They say that when you say "I
care about students," do you really know and understand whom it is you care
about? Do you really notice and value each of them. The best way, he says, is
to ask these questions of the students and yourself, or anyone!
So, to continue. To be honest, I've looked at that passage many times.
This past time, however, I couldn't stop, didn't want to stop, reflecting on
the meaning it had for my teaching and my life in general. But, that
rumination ran much too long. So, I've cut it into a number of segments.
Please bear with me.
"Watch over your heart with all diligence, for from it flows the
springs of life."
I was just rereading Thich Nhat Hanh's "Peace At Every Step. The Path
of Mindfulness in Everyday Life." In it he says three things that struck me.
First, "When you plant lettuce, if it does not grow well, you don't blame the
lettuce. You look into the reasons it is not doing well. It may need
fertilizer, or more water, or less sun. You never blame the lettuce." Second,
"we must look deeply in order to see and understand the needs, aspirations, and
suffering of the person we love. This is the ground of real love. You cannot
resist loving another person when you really understand him or her." So, he
continues, from time to time we should ask, "Do I understand you enough." "How
can I love you better." What questions! What questions to generate awareness,
attentiveness, alertness, and mindfulness. What questions to transcend blind
spots and come together in deeper connection. They say that when you say "I
care about students," do you really know and understand whom it is you care
about? Do you really notice and value each of them. The best way, he says, is
to ask these questions of the students and yourself, or anyone!
Simple these questions may be, but profound they are. At least once
every week, I posed those questions to the students in class. And, I got the
answer "You can love me better by...." I received their answers without any
defensive knee-jerk replies. Such answers give us custody of ourselves. They
provide a clearer picture of what is really going on, a clarity that dispels
the thick blinding fogs of idealizations, abstractions, stereotypes,
generalizations, and labels. They immunize us against the constant bombard of
these distorting, impersonal, dehumanizing sketches. They aid in the battle
against what I call regressive "average shaming." They flesh out and breathe
life into simple, one-dimensional, lifeless caricatures so they become complex,
three-dimensional, fully-formed, living characters.
That weekly practice helped me live outside my own perspective. That
was not always easy, but by being still and attentive, they knew I was sincere,
that I was open to whatever their answers were. They knew that I did love them,
respected them, had faith in them, had hope for them. They understood that I
was there to encourage and support them, not penalize them. Unconditionally!
In return, they trusted me. And, they did more, more than they believed they
had it in them.
The basic questions, then, for us are: can we be that vulnerable; can
we be that humble; do we really want to hear the answers; what are we willing
to feel. They were the best students evaluations I could have gotten. They
were questions that changed everything; the answers changed everything.
Instead of guessing, imagining, or assuming, ask and be quiet; listen and pay
attention. It's a commitment to unselfish faith in, hope for, and love of. I
assure you, it is radical shift from the world of "me" to the serving world of
"you." Whenever I did, I found it was some way to connect, to connect
tighter; respect deepened, beauty appeared, deeper trust emerged, tension
subsided, doors opened.
"Better" is the key word, for it says you already have faith in, hope
for, and love in, and "better" lets the other person know it. You just want to
do it and show it more and maybe differently. But, you wouldn't ask the
question if you hadn't turned the clenched fist, tightly crossed arms, and
closed mind into embracing arms, an open heart, and an extended hand.
More than once, the miracle occurred and they asked me how they could
love me better. And, I would tell them: "Believe in yourselves." "Have faith
in yourselves." "Take the risk" "Don't be afraid to blow it." "Put it all on
the field." "Respect yourself and others." How the atmosphere of the
classroom instantly changed! We became a mutually supporting and encouraging
community. What joy! What satisfaction! What meaningfulness! It felt right
and good, and was right and good!
"Watch over your heart with all diligence, for from it flows the
springs of life."
More to come.
Make it a good day
-Louis-
Louis Schmier
http://www.therandomthoughts.edublogs.org
203 E. Brookwood Pl http://www.therandomthoughts.com
Valdosta, Ga 31602
(C) 229-630-0821 /\ /\ /\ /\
/\
/^\\/ \/ \ /\/\__
/ \ / \
/ \/ \_ \/ / \/
/\/ / \ /\ \
//\/\/ /\ \__/__/_/\_\/
\_/__\ \
/\"If you want to climb
mountains,\ /\
_ / \ don't practice on mole
hills" - / \_
---
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