[TMIC] MY 1ST 15 MINS OF THE DAY

[ROBERT COOK]

YEAAAA!!!!!  MY DAY STARTED OFF FANTASTIC. . . . . . .    I WOKE UP AND WAS STILL HERE ON EARTH AND STILL ALIVE !!   NICE AND COMFY IN THE WARM BED, FELT SO GREAT, LISTENING TO SPOUSETTE'S SHOWER WATER RUNNING AND A FAINT AUDIO TV SOUND COMING FROM THE FAMILY ROOM.  STRETCING MY ARMS AND THINKING OF ROLLING OVER FOR A FEW MORE MINUTES SNOOZE BEFORE I GET UP . . . . . BUT THE SOUND OF THE COFFEE PERKING AND INVITING AROMA EMINATINF FROM THE KITCHEN BECONED ME TO GIT UP AND BE SOMEBODY AND GO OUT BACK AND LISTEN TO THE MORNING BOIRDS SINGING AND SEE IF THE NEW PARROT WHO MUST BE AN ESCAPEE AND WHO DECIDED TO TAKE UP RESIDENCE IN ONE OF OUR TREES WAS STILL OUT THERE DOING HIS SQUEECHING AND SQUAKING, AND TO WATCH THE SUN RISE.   AHHHHH, WHAT A GREAT DAY IT IS GOING TO BE !!!!!   I TAKES OFF MY C-PAP, LOWER MY WHEELCHAIR SEAT FOR EASY TRANSFER FROM THE BED, LAY THERE FOR A FEW MORE MOMENTS WISHING THAT C-PAP WOULD DIE SO I COULD DO WITHOUT IT FOR A FEW DAYS UNTIL ANOTHER ONE CAME TO REPLACE IT.  DECIDED TO WAKE UP MY LEGS BY CREATING A SPASM IN MY ABS THAT MAKES THEM THRASH AROUND LIKE FISH OUTA WATER AND FORCE THEM BACK DOWN BY PUSHING ON MY KNEES.  DANG, WHAT A RUSH !!!  IT JUST PLAIN TAKES YOUR BREATH AWAY, LITERALLY !!!  ALMOST AS GOOD AS SOME OTHER THINGS THAT ARE/WERE DONE IN BED.   OH OH, NOW THE DEVILS ARE AWAKE !!!!!  WAIT A MINUTE AND THEY WILL LET ME KNOW THEY ARE WHEN THEY BEGING TO BURN FROM BEING DISTURBED, WHAT A SWEET REMINDER THEY ARE THE WAY THEY CAN DO THAT.  NOTHING LIKE IT IN THE WHOLE WIDE WORLD.   NOW, LET'S DO THAT ABB SPAZ AGAIN AND GIT THE BUGGERS TO BEND AT THE KNEES AND CURL IN SO'S I CAN TRICK THEM INTO SLIDING OVER THE SIDE OF THE BED AND AT THE SAME TIME PULL MYSELF UP BY THE WHEELCHAIR BACK BEFORE THEY REALIZE THEY ARE DOING WHAT THEY WERE ORIGINALLY DESIGNED TO DO AND SPAZ AGAIN CURLING UP AND HURLING ME BACK INTO THE BED . . .. I WANT MY COFFEE AND DON'T REALLY GIVE A DAMN IF THEY DON'T WANT TO GO LIKE I PLAN ON OR NOT.. . . I'M GITTING UP !!!   I BEAT THEMTO IT.... I'M SITTING UP ON THE SIDE OF THE BED AND TELLING MY STIFF BACK TO RELAX THOSE MUSCLE TONES SO I CAN SLIDE OVER ONTO OLD BETSY [NAME FOR MY WHEELCHAIR-I JUST MADE UP FOR THE PURPOSE OF THIS TALE].  THE TRANSFER WENT PRETTY GOOD, NOW TO SEE IF THOSE LEGS WILL COOPERATE AND STOP BOUNCING AROUND LIKE SOMEONE IS PLAYING A FIDDLE HOP TUNE, AND LET ME SET THEM WHERE THEY BELONG, , , NOT THAT THEY WILL STAY THERE VERY LONG, BUT YOU GOTTA START THEM OFF RIGHT, YA KNOW.   NOW TO REACH BACK BEHIND THE CHAIR,WITHOUT THE BUGGERS CATCHING ME OFF GUARD AND SPAZING OUT OF THEIR STIRRUPS, AND UNPLUG THE BATTERY CHARGER, PUT MY SIDE ARM REST BACK ON THAT WAS REMOVED FOR THE TRANSFERS, AND START THIS THING UP AND GIT TO ROLLING . . ... THE COFFEE BREWER HAS SHUT OFF AND I PREFER IT FRESH, WITH ONE SUGAR AND LOTS A COFFEE MATE.   OOPS, GOTTA GRAB A TOWEL OFF THE ARMOIIR TO COVER SELF WITH - I SLEEP SANS CLOTHING OF ANY KIND BECAUSE THEY SQUENCH UP AND TWIST IN THE MOST GAWD-AWFUL WAYS THAT IT WILL DRIVE YOU NUTS [PUN INTENDED HERE, FOLKS] WHILE TRYING TO SLEEP - AND GO GET THAT FIRST CUP-A-JAVA.   OOPS, DETOUR TO THE BATHROOM FIRST, NEED TO EMPTY THE OLD LEG BAG, IT'S KINDA FULL AND PUT MY TEETH BACK IN.. . . AFTER WASHING MY HAND, OF COURSE.   NOW, OFF ROLLING TO THE KITCHEN, GET OUTA DA WAY CAT, UNLESS YA WANT YER TAIL RAN OVER, I'M HEADING FER THE KITCHEN AND IT'S KINDA DARK IN HERE YET, THE SUNLIGHT HAS NOT STARTED TO COME THRU THE SKY LIGHTS BECAUSE IT AN'T AWAKE YET - BUT THOSE BUGGER LEGS SURE AS HELL ARE AND TELLING ME ABOUT IT EVERY MINUTE, , , , ,  .  ESCROW THE BUGGERS, I WANT MY COFFEE !!!!!   AHH HH H, NOTIN LIKE CHICKORY FLAVORED COFFEE IN MY CUP FIRST THING IN THE MORNING !!  NOW THE TRICK IS TO TAKE A BIG SIP OUT OF IT SO'S IT WON'T SPILL AS I GO OUT THE BACK DOOR, , , WATCH OUT CAT, I'L OPENING THE DOOR FORTHE NOTH OF US . . . . OH SCHEIST !!!!  THE PULL ROPE ON THE DOOR CAUGHT ON MY WHEELCHAIR AS I WAS ROLLING THRU, MADE ME VEER TO THE RIGHT HITING THE DOOR JAM, THE COFFEE IS BURNING THE YOU KNOW WHAT OUT OF MY NUB THAT WAS TRYING TO BALANCE IT ON THE ARM REST AND KEEP IT FROM SPILLING ONTO MY CROTCH AND THE WHEELCHAIR IS NOW STUCK AND DOWANNA GO NO MORE.   THE CAT WANTS OUT AND IS COMING AROUND THE WHEELS AND WILL HAVE TO JUMP OVER - I'M SORRY ABOUT THAT CAT. . . .. NOT!!   OK, PLACE THE COFFE BACK SECURE ON THE ARM REST AND SQUEEZ IT DOWN WITH THE TRUSTY OLD NUB, AND SEE IF WE [YES, I ALWAYS CARRY A MOUSE IN MY POCKET] CAN FIND THE TOWEL THAT WAS ON MY LAP COVERING SELF AND WHICH IS NOW SOAKED WITH COFFEE, SO I CAN ADDRESS IT'S POSITIONING AFTER I GET UNSTUCK AND OUT ONTO THE BACK POURCH - - I WANT MY COFFEE, DAMMIT TO HELL !!  OR WHAT'S LEFT OF IT, I AN'T TURNING BACK NOW FOR A REFILL, I'M IN A FORWARD POINTED DIRECTION - BUT KINDA CROSSWAYS IN THE DOORWAY, I ROCK HARD BACK AND FORTH AND GIVE IT FULL THROTTLE, AND WALLA !!!!  I'M FREE, SAYS WILLIE, LQQK AT MEEEE [I'LL COVER HIM IN A MINUTE AFTER I SEE IF I CAN GET THIS THING STOPPED FROM FORWARD TO RIGHT TURN BEFORE WE [YEAH, HE'S HERE TOO, STILL] GO FOOT STIRRUP FIRST INTO THE POOL.  IT TURNED, BUT THE COFFEE SLOSHED [AND I HAVE ONE THAT HAS A SIPPIE LID ON IT, TOO] = I PREFER IT INSIDE ME, NOT IN MY CROTCH, OUCH-OUCH DAMMIT ANYWAY !! ! ; THERE'S STILL A BIT LEFT IN THE CUP THAT HAS NOT SLOSHED OUT THRU MY SIPPIE HOLE ONTO MY LAP AND DOWN THE SIDE OF MY CHAIR.   OH, DID I SAY I WANTED SOME COFFEE THIS MORNING?   NOW TO ROLL OVER TO MY FAVORITE/SECRET SPOT [WITHOUT RUNNING OVER ANY DOG POOH, OOPS, NEARLY GOT THAT ONE, NOW TO MISS THAT OTHER ONE AND GO AROUND THAT DARK LOOKING THING I AN'T SO SURE WHAT IT IS] TO WHERE THE NEIGHBORS CAN'T SEE ME AND STRAIGTEN OUT THIS TOWEL SO'S IT COVERS AT LEAST SOMETHING !!    TILT BACK A BIT AND, AHHHHHH, IT'S A GREAT MORNING, FIRST CUP OF JAVA AND THE SUN IS STARTING TO CAST SOME RAYS ACROSS THE SKY.  SURE GLAD IT'S A FREE DAY AND I DON'T HAVE TO DO MY 'NUMBERS' THIS MORNING!!   FYI 'NUMBERS IS THE BOWEL THINGY THAT REALLY THROWS OFF THE PREFERRED MORNING ROUTINE OF GETTING MY COFFEE AND WATCHING THE SUN COME UP.   I WONDER WHAT E-MAIL IS ON THE PUTER FROM THE LIST?   I'LL GET ANOTHER CUP AND SEE LATER, NOW I'LL CONCENTRATE ON THE SUN A RISEN AND TRYING TO STRETCH WHAT COFFE I HAVE LEFT WATCHING IT DO IT'S THING, WHATEVER THAT IS.   AND THAT'S JUST THE FIRST FIFTEEN MINUTES OF MY DAY WITH TM.  I STILL GOTTA BRUSH MY TEETH, SHAVE AND GIT DRESSED [WHICH IS A HOOT IN AND OF  ITSELF] AND SEE SPOUSETTE OFF TO WORK, WHISTLE AT THE RED HEAD NEXT DOOR, AND CHECK ON THE OTHER NEIGHBORS AS THEY DRIVE BY OFF WORK OR TAKING THE KIDS TO SCHOOL, , , POOR SUCKERS !!!!!  THEY REALLY NEED A TM FIXER AND THEY WOULD NOT HAVE TO DO ALL THAT !!!   DANG !!!!!!!!!!  WHAT A GREAT DAY IT'S GONNA BE.  I WOKE UP THIS MORNING, AGAIN.   BOB FROM HOUSTON-SPRING, TX   PS:  I LEFT OFF A LOT IN THAT FIRST FIFTEEN  MINUTES, I'M SURE, LIKE SORTING MY PILLS OUT FOR LATER, MAKING SURE SPOUSETTE TAKES HER B-12 SUBLINGUAL FOR EXTRA ENERGY, SHE MIGHT NEED IT, ETC.