> > MEDICAL INSURANCE EXPLAINED (Research done by the > AARP Legal Department) > > Q. What does HMO stand for? > > A. This is actually a variation of the phrase, "HEY > MOE." Its roots go > back to a concept pioneered by Moe of the Three > Stooges, who discovered > that a patient could be made to forget the pain in > his foot if he was > poked hard enough in the eye. > --------------------------------------------- > Q. I just joined an HMO. How difficult will it be to > choose the doctor I > want? > > A. Just slightly more difficult than choosing your > parents. Your insurer > will provide you with a book listing all the doctors > in the plan. The > doctors basically fall into two categories--those > who are no longer > accepting new patients, and those who will see you > but are no longer > participating in the plan. But don't worry, the > remaining doctor who is > still in the plan and accepting new patients has an > office just a > half-day's drive away and a diploma from a third > world country. > --------------------------------------------- > Q. Do all diagnostic procedures require > pre-certification? > > A. No. Only those you need. > --------------------------------------------- > Q. Can I get coverage for my preexisting conditions? > > A. Certainly, as long as they don't require any > treatment. > --------------------------------------------- > Q What happens if I want to try alternative forms of > medicine? > > A. You'll need to find alternative forms of payment. > --------------------------------------------- > Q. My pharmacy plan only covers generic drugs, but I > need the name > brand. I tried the generic medication, but it gave > me a stomach ache. > What should I do? > > A. Poke yourself in the eye. > --------------------------------------------- > Q. What if I'm away from home and I get sick? > > A. You really shouldn't do that. > --------------------------------------------- > Q. I think I need to see a specialist, but my doctor > insists he can > handle my problem. Can a general practitioner really > perform a heart > transplant right in his/her office? > > A. Hard to say, but considering that all you're > risking is the $20 > co-payment, there's no harm in giving it a shot. > --------------------------------------------- > Q. Will health care be different in the next > century? > > A. No, but if you call right now, you might get an > appointment by then. > > > ________________________________________________ > > Only Irish coffee provides in a single glass all > four > essential food groups: alcohol, caffeine, sugar and > fat. > >
