Re: "I see it as additional proof that we don't choose to
become depressed or to stay depressed or that we can snap out of it at will. I
think it is entirely based on a chemical imbalance and wonder why I'm
imbalanced and you aren't! I agree that exercise and movement play a part in
the chemicals that our brain's produce and I'm sure that its also connected to
the amount of sun light we are exposed to and other stress factors that are
going on in our lives."
I totally agree that 1-we don't choose it, and 2-we can't just snap out of it at will (it only made me more depressed when people used to tell me that I could!!!)
But you said that it's 'entirely' a chemical imbalance, and then added that it's affected by stress factors in our lives. I think we can learn to better handle the stress factors. And there are some things we can do about the chemical imbalances. So in that sense, we are not totally the victims - we do have some choices. However, I'd be the first to argue that that doesn't mean that it's a simple thing! We're not stupid! If it were that simple, none of us would ever be depressed for any length of time, b/c we'd just handle the simple factors. But the combination of factors (physical, emotional, mental, etc.) is very complex and just not that easy to deal with! On top of that, it's different for everyone of us, b/c we all have bodies that work slightly different from one another.
You misunderstood one thing, though, when you said you wonder why you're unbalanced and I'm not. I struggled with depression most of my life from the time I was a teen til sometime when I was in my 40's. (I'm 63 now.) And it wasn't until I was 50 that I was diagnosed with MVPS, and found that a major symptom is an imbalance in the autonomic nervous system, which causes all kinds of quirky symptoms (which, by the way is also a condition of TM - so I get a double dose :). When I read about MVPS, I found all the symptoms basically described my whole life since I was a teenager!
Before I was even diagnosed w/MVPS though, a friend gave me a book which turned me onto nutrition as a factor in mental/emotional problems - which later ended up being the focus of my degree in nutrition. That was the beginning of my learning to control my depression. I found that a lot of B vitas really helped. But in addition to the exercise and diet, another thing that helped me was to learn to internalize what one counselor told me - that the biggest reason for depression is that we expect too much of ourselves and/or others. When our expectations can't possibly be fulfilled, it's depressing.
So in that sense, it helps to learn how to be more realistic about our expectations. If I'm left with no money and seven children to raise while my ex-husband is enjoying the cash from all our assets, and has little, if any, responsibility for raising the children, it's not fair! But I can't control what he does. I can let him know that I expect more and demand more (I didn't, but I should have! instead I played the victim = big mistake) But I can't control whether or not he decides to be fair. I can only accept that he isn't being fair, and realize that I can only control the choices that I make. If I expect more from him, I'll only be disappointed!
I also needed to tell myself that although I like a lot of discipline and a clean house, I have to accept the fact that my physical endurance is limited, whether I like it or not, and not expect to be able to do everything I want to. Because when I expected more of myself than I could possibly do, I got depressed! Then I became even more limited in what I could do, b/c I wasn't very productive when I was depressed - almost despondent sometimes. It took me a long time to learn that! And it didn't help my propensity for migraines, either, to say nothing of the depression!
I must add, too, that learning to exercise my faith - not just believe - in God, has also helped me. I continue to work on that, trusting that there is some purpose in whatever happens, and he will lead me and help me to handle it. Which he has, once I learned to accept His will, instead of getting depressed because I wasn't getting what I thought was best! Don't mean to offend by bringing God into this, but to leave it out would not present the full picture.
DISCLAIMER: As with what I said before, I'm not in anyway suggesting that it's simple or that anyone should do as I do. I trust that you're all smarter than I am, and can figure out your own solutions. I am only sharing, in the hope that it might possibly give someone some helpful ideas.
And maybe this is a good place to add a 'Thank you' to all of you, b/c even though not everything you say applies to my situation, it helps me to get a better picture of what I have to deal with and greatly improves my perspective so that I can make better choices for myself. That's in addition to all the helpful advice I get from you. And your questioning me, which forces me to better define to myself how I really feel.
Sincerely,
Sally (who apparently can't help being long-winded! )
