Hello Dear Ones, Why is there no mail in my mailbox? Have you all gone to that "Face" place? Are you at Yahoo? Can't I count on anyone any more? All I did was go into the hospital for a few days and when I get back, everyone seems to be gone. The List is like a ghost town... I would like to thank those of you who have taken the time and effort to send me lovely cards and beautiful notes. I will cherish them for a long time. The hospital is a lonely place and a card with well wishes goes a long way towards making the time pass a bit faster. Also, thank you to those of you who have called me to wish me well and to let me know I have been missed. You have no idea what you people mean to me. I hate naming names because I am afraid of leaving someone out, my memory is getting worse by the hour. So, I am not going to do that. You know who you are and how much I appreciate your signs of friendship...you keep me able to look at life as a glass half full, if you know what I mean. As some of you know, I have no family except for my wonderful husband, Dave. We moved miles away from our home town because Dave wanted "property" and shortly after I was stricken with TM...no chance to make friends with anyone. Like all of us, I was grasping at straws, trying to find something to give me a reason to live, something to hold on to. Finding this site, thanks to Jim Lubin, became my lifeline. You people became my family and I had somewhere to go where people understood what I was going through, how my life had done a 360' and in a heartbeat I didn't know who I was, where I fit in, if I even was worthwhile to life itself. Each and every one of you has given me a reason to continue living. You make me think, you make me lol, you make me feel warm and comforted when I'm in "pity party" mode. You graciously allow me to make mistakes and don't hold it against me, and I know that I can count on you to hold me up when I get too tired to tread water any longer. This Friday I go in for flap surgery on the ulcers on my behind. The plastic surgeon is not certain where he is going to find extra tissue to create the "flap" so the outcome is up in the air. He is going to shave the bony protubences of the ischeal tuberosities way down so that there will be less of a chance for them to penetrate the skin in the future. The research I have done online has not been optimistic. It sounds like in many cases the sites open back up in a relatively short period of time. And, I did not realize that complications due to pressure sores is the number one cause of death in paraplegics. In the future, my job will be to force myself to eat lots of protein and learn to move around when I'm sitting to allow freedom of blood flow and maintain oxygenation in the blood. No matter how hard I am being "hugged" around my abdomen, I have to find a way to eat. I don't know how to do that though. Dave and I are drinking those new fruit flavored protein waters which are supposed to be an excellent source of the good stuff. And they taste great, not all thick and gooey like Ensure and those kinds of drinks. I am overtired and cannot go to sleep. Things keep rolling around in my head...like what has happened to the List. As hard as Jim Lubin works, even though he is a quadriplegic, to keep this thing going and as much gumption it must have taken him to even begin a web site for us forsaken TM'ers, is absolutely amazing and I for one, will not jump ship for some site where supposedly the grass is greener. Maybe I will be here all by myself, though I know better, but that's ok because through you, my friends and family, I have learned to value myself again, know how to reach out for help when I need it, and I even understand how being a paraplegic has made me a better person, put things in the right perspective, humbled me just a bit. So, to those of you who make me laugh and have given life and hope to one lost old woman, thank you again. Hoping and Praying to wake up after surgery, Jude
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