Andrea, I have been with this mess since May 2008. Your husbands symptoms,I know them exactly as you mentioned them.If he hasn't tried different things/medicines he should. If His Dr. doesn't think he should then get a different Dr. This is my 2 cents worth. Don't be offended at anything you read. If it helps then it helps if it don't then it don't but with all the people that have experienced the very same thing your husband has experienced,some not as bad,some worse,you are bound to find something that can make a difference for him or for yourself.
Do not allow the broken record to hurt you,love will help you there. It may not help to remember who he was but to remember who he is will. He is the same fellow you married,the man inside needs you and he needs to know that you need him. being reminded of that makes a difference. Again, you have to come to your own conclusions John in WV ________________________________ From: "pjv1...@chartermi.net" <pjv1...@chartermi.net> To: Andrea <and...@cleverendeavours.co.uk> Cc: tmic-list@eskimo.com Sent: Monday, October 10, 2011 10:31 PM Subject: RE: [TMIC] How can a spouse help? Andrea, You are a special spouse - searching the 'net for answers and asking how you can help show how much you care for you husband and the future of your family. I have had TM for eight years and have constant pain. However, I enjoy my life in spite of it. I had a good neurologist who cared about my level of pain and suggested different meds and doses until we found a combination that kept the pain at a bearable level. Oddly, the first medication that I was prescribed when diagnosed with TM (alng with the steroid regimine) was an antidepressant. The doctor in the rehab hospital suggested it along with the all the therapy I needed. It took me 3 to 4 weeks before I admitted that I was in pain, because I thought the pain was a good sign that I was recovering from TM. Huh! I usually will not talk about my pain or give an honest answer. Oddly, I ended up seeking psychiatric help after having TM for six years. My husband and I were going thru numerous life changes and I needed professional help in understanding why I was loosing control of my life. My husband told me that he was jealous that I got to talk to someone and my therapist suggested that she see him in order to help me. We both benefitted from the therapy. The antidepressant that I take (Cymbalta) is also prescribed in the U.S. for pain so I get a double benefit from it. I hated hearing that people still had pain after years of TM and I thought that I was "stronger" than that and I would be one of those to beat this illness. Well, I am beating it every single day. However, I have had to reach out to other TMers for the day to day problems and to professionals for the medications and various therapies. There is no good answer to the how are you today question. Possibly you could ask instead - Is there anything I can do for you today? Inspite of TM I have a good life! There is hope that he will get better - I never got worse. Keep in touch. We are a caring group of people who are here to support each other. Patti - Michigan (USA) i On Mon, Oct 10, 2011 at 9:38 AM, Andrea wrote: Dear TM support group, My husband became ill with TM in May 2011 and his symptoms have remained constant. He is in extreme pain from his chest down to his toes. The pain can be burning, tingling, icy, stabbing… He is now saying that he wants to end his life because he can no longer endure the suffering. He says that I am no help and do not understand what he is going through. This is correct. I do not understand. Because he looks normal, it is easy to forget that he is in constant pain. This is why I went online to see if I can find a group that does understand and can possibly provide hope for him. I realise there is no guarantee that the symptoms will go away, but after reading your online stories, it looks like it can be possible. Additionally, what can a spouse do to provide more support? He has had the symptoms for almost 6 months and every day plays like a broken record. I ask every day how he is and he unleashes a long list of painful symptoms. Besides taking his meds, is there any other therapy I can arrange for him that may provide relief? I feel useless. He is angry that I am not doing more, but I do not know what I can do besides taking care of the home and kids without burdening him with additional tasks. Any advice would be greatly appreciated. Warm regards, Andrea
