Betty,
I have just hit my "6th" anniversary. What I remember most about that day
is fear - with a sudden loss of strength in my legs, and fear again when
the ER nurse looked at me and said "we don't know what is
wrong with you, but you are a very sick lady". Much hard work (blood,
sweat, and tears) and good improvement have marked my 6 years. From being
paralyzed from shoulder blades to toes, I now only need
a cane to walk.
I admit that my husband being 67 and my being 66 causes me to worry about
the later years. But, we have a loving family. I also believe you only
live once and, even with TM, I want to make the best of it.
Of course, Zoloft helps!! I understand how you feel about leaving the
house. I am always afraid I will fall in public, or my bladder will
embarrass me, or my colostomy that I now live with will be a problem.
I don't want to be defined by a disease - it is just one part of who I am.
I also realize there are those who have it much worse than I do. My
prayers go out to them every nite.
Hang in there and do the best you can to kick TM in the butt!!!
Janice
-----Original Message-----
From: Betty Clark
Sent: Wednesday, April 17, 2013 6:09 PM
To: TMIC
Subject: [TMIC] Anniversary
So today is my "lucky (???) seven" year anniversary with TM. At this
time seven years ago, I was inside an MRI machine for over an hour
trying to hold as still as possible while my legs continued to spasm
about every three minutes. By far, the worse, most painful day of my life.
Though usually fairly optimistic and more on the positive side of my
feelings, I find myself in a more pensive and reflective state today.
Wondering what the next ten-to-twenty years look like... will I still be
able to function well enough on my own, without assistance? Will I be
able to keep the ugly monster at bay and not let it completely destroy
my outlook on life? Can I continue to find enough joy in my daily
existence?
I know I will have to forcibly take the reins and get myself out
regularly so as to not become a recluse in my own home. I have realized
since I had to "retire" from my job six years ago because of TM, other
people's lives have gone on and most have little time to waste coming to
visit or entertain me. I must make the effort if I want to maintain any
relationships outside my own home and family.
Of course, my fervent and continuing prayer is that by some miracle, a
cure and treatment will be found that will help everyone saddled with
either TM or MS. As I begin another year of pain, medications,
limitations, etc., I wish everyone peace of mind and soul.
Hugs to all,
Betty
(in Northern California)
