----- Original Message ----- From: "Green Willow" <[EMAIL PROTECTED]> To: <[EMAIL PROTECTED]>; <[EMAIL PROTECTED]>; <[EMAIL PROTECTED]> Sent: Monday, July 15, 2002 7:31 PM Subject: Fear of babies...GW starts ranting....warning....Danger, Will Robinson....
> > > > Brina: > > I know GW told me I shouldn't do it because I feel uncomfortable but > >now, it's getting to the point where they're stuck. I don't have a job > >so since I have free time, and they really can't afford a sitter, they're > >wanting me to sit longer with Tristan. > > ~Again, I have to ask you, how is this *your* problem? Ok, it's nice > to help out family and all, but you also need a job. You're not the one > who went and got pregnant, or got someome pregnant and then came > home unemployed. Jeezus! Ooh, I've said that about it not being my fault she got pregnant. I never said it TO Kat because it would hurt her and I'd get in huge ass trouble. It's true but it's also insulting. :O > > As my uncle put it yesterday, "So, you came here to learn Baby 101?" I > said, "Maaaaaybe...." > > ~I think your "Fear of Babies" is your own common sense telling you > that you don't know what you're doing.... Yes, even if I was told what to do, the thought of being alone with a 9 month baby scares the bejeezers out of me. Mom and Christine ask me what's the big deal and I say, "Well, it's different for you. Not everyone acts the same." Yeah, Tristan is a very easy baby to watch but the fact that it is a baby makes me uncomfortable. That's what I try to explain. > > It's such a pressure and a strain for me but I don't want to let them > down. > > ~So instead you sacrifice *your* ability to get a job and do > something that makes you uncomfortable to boot..... I've noticed how long I go between jobs and they would say, "Well, while you're unemployed, in the meantime, you could...." Just so that I'm not home alone twiddling my thumbs. I sit at the computer and fax out my resume to companies. The ones that call hate hearing the fact I don't have a car to get to work. It's either walking or the bus. Thank god Christine got the job in walking distance. Maybe I'll get lucky, too. > > Kat works very hard and all her money goes to bills and car payments. > Josh is going trying to get a job at Cosco in Carlsbad so he'd be gone > all day as well. It's also the fact that I need to work. Unemployment > helps but it's not enough. > > ~So does this mean they're gonna pay you? You aren't doing this > for free, right? No, they probably wouldn't and it wouldn't be right of me to ask. The thing with that is they've done a lot for us. I've lost track on how many times we've gone over for breakfast, lunch or dinner, how many times my aunt gave Mom grocery money, how many times they bought us stuff, and in return all they ask is for me to watch Tristan for a few hours during the day. When I say I feel uncomfortable, I mean it. I'm not trying to back down because I don't want to do it. I'm going with instincts on the inside. > > Jackie: > > Oh before I forget, I think it would be a great idea for you to write > >that fanfic. Even if you might think it may be hypocritical. Just think > >of it as a learning experience, if you have to learn from it so do > >they..lol. > > ~Yeah, it's funny in a fic. What do you do in real life if the baby > chokes on something? Falls off the bed? Starts running a high fever? > Starts puking-- a lot? Swallows something and you don't know what it was? > Won't stop crying no matter what you do? Oh, lord. That just reminded me. Throwing up. I can't stand it. Not one bit. People of any size, shape, age, whatever. When someone throws up, I leave the room, leave the house, take a long walk just to get far awaaaay. I couldn't do that with Tristan. If he got real sick, I'd have a big problem. Just this morning around 5:40am, Mom woke up from deep sleep, ran downstairs and threw up all over the place. I mean, she made it to the toilet but she got incredibly ill. We blamed it on stress from everything but she still thought it was weird. I asked her why she didn't use the upstairs bathroom since its right next to her bedroom. She said she didn't want to wake us. She knows I get real queasy about it. > Be sure you have the answers to these before you're left alone with an > infant... I'm not mad at you, Sabrina. I'm mad at your family...;op > > ~GW Well, here's an update. Kat called tonight around dinner and we had a long talk. I told her exactly how I felt and was very honest. She even told me if I'm uncomfortable, she won't have me come over to watch him. She's like, "I mean, this is my son and if you're really uncomfortable, then I'll find someone who isn't." I had to ask if this would upset her and she said no. They can't change the way I feel and it wouldn't be right to. She said they would just have to get a sitter instead. I'm sure I was talked about after that phone call. Because we're a close family, they figured I would watch him no trouble. I guess they're just now realizing I have felt this way about babies all my life! I understand why you're mad, GW. I don't think Kat is mad by the way she sounded but my aunt will be because it's going to cost them money to hire a sitter. Money that they really don't have to spend. I know, I know. Not my fault! lol. Brinatello
