Tok: > ..i am trying to understand where Raka.. and people are coming from.. > and i feel bad as hell that i scare the fr33k out of people that care > about me.. > > .. ultimately.. the person who has to live with it is me.. > ..i understand that i effect people.. last night.. just when i > thought things were ok.. **boom.. i got smacked and it totally > intensified and i felt so hurt by people i thought were there for me. > > Everyone has issues and stress.. the crap in society and yesterdays > 'address' to the nation..i placing illogical strain on people.. and > illogically will compromise many lives..these things amoung the other > trails of the days where on everyone..
Yeah.. and I'm sorry in some sense for not stopping to analyze the whole "cross-posting F words to the TMNT-L" and "an irked Raka" situtation first. Especially when the rest of the list is like, "Huh? What did I miss?" afterwards. To everyone else (now that the members in question have a grip on this matter)... the story behind my actions was that I noticed Tokka had posted to another TMNT mailing list called the TMNT-L. They are very strict on rules, and no swearing is one of them. 'Fuck' and 'F8ck' is not really that different to myself and many others. You can say I was standing up for them in that case. Then Raka told me he was not pleased about how Tokka was making him the center of attention. He made Tokka's F word post sound like it also doubled as a personal attack on his preferances. So I took action.. and well, I guess I should have just talked it out with Raka and Tokka off the records first instead of making an instant judgement on the matter. Go figure... Tokka was just spinning again, among other things. No serious harm was really intended. And I end up looking like the cold-hearted bitch too many of you guys. *sai* So yes... I know now that when people are inflicted with such irreversible conditions, I too have to know better on how to react toward them here on the NTML. Sad to realize that things won't always be getting better.. nor can some of those things be fixed with a couple pills and a glass of water. Which.. is kind of hard to be kind and encoraging when I'm not that much of a philantropist in the first place. Yes, trying to be a genuine caring person with loads of hugs, kisses, and encoraging words comes really hard for me. When people come up to express their pains and sorrows, I just fidget my hands and look off to one side. Kinda lost as to how to handle the situation properly. >< All I can do is sit on my pedestal and preach about how to do things the right way so the suffering isn't too bad. How to have hope and not let dark, pessimistic thoughts get the best of yah. But... don't let the worse gett he best of ya, Tokka. I'll try to be more insightful on stuff like this in the future... and bug GW a heckuva lot more when needed. ;] Take care all, and God bless... ~HT *then points to her sig* ===== "A wise man never loses anything, if he has himself." ~Master Splinter ---== ] http://www.turtlequest.com [ ==--- __________________________________________________ Do you Yahoo!? Yahoo! Platinum - Watch CBS' NCAA March Madness, live on your desktop! http://platinum.yahoo.com
