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You know what happened to me today? I was supposed to work 6 a.m. to
3 p.m. but ended up going home at almost 7:30. I was outside gathering
shopping carts and all of a sudden, started a coughing fit and couldn't
stop. I literally almost passed out in the parking lot. I
pulled myself over to a bench and was heaving in and out to catch my
breath. I'm still too sick to be doing too much labor and I found out the
hard way.
Inside the store at 7 a.m., I had to help a lady and two girls
with blowing up 12 latex balloons and 1 mylar in the floral
department. When it's early like that before the actual floral person
comes in, a courtesy clerk has to do it. So, I'm standing there blowing up
the balloons, heaving quietly and feeling my fever rise higher and higher as the
three of them are staring at me, the lady checking her watch every so
often. Hey, I wasn't trained in floral, so my method for blowing up
balloons, tying and adding strings, is kind of slow. Excuse me!
After I got them all done, I got a quick 'thank you' and they rushed out the
door, obviously late to wherever they were going.
As I was standing around in the front, the sickness hit me harder
than usual and I told the checker I could not make it the rest of the
day. Some other courtesy clerk was there to cover me so
that I could go home. I called Mom, who was half way to work in Vista, and
told her what was wrong. As soon as I got home, I took my medication and
collapsed in the bed. I just now woke up to take my pill again.
Okay, so what's my point to all this? I've talked about suicide a
couple of times because I think about it every now and then. But, with
this illness hitting me, if I really wanted to die now, I wouldn't have gone to
the hospital on Saturday, wouldn't be taking my medicine, and would have
stayed at work and hid the infection on the inside. My work, if
you're not physically healthy, can actually kill you or make you wish you were
dead. With too much going on in my life, I'm not ready to check out just
yet. For one thing, I'm needed at my job and I believe I apologized a
hundred times to everyone before Mom came and got me. With suicide
thoughts being a far thing from my mind, I think something else will kill me
before I have the chance to do it myself.
I plan to be well by the time Comic Con rolls around. Eesh, that's
another month, I can't stand another week with it! And Dave, I also plan
to see you at the Comic Con. I know you're coming, I read my email
and was very excited to hear I'll be seeing you again since the
Turtle Con in 2000. GW will be there and you can talk to her as much
as you need to. I don't think she can bring her large leather sofa for
you, but the Convention Center does have nice, quiet areas with comfy
seats. ;)
On that note, I think I'm going to go lay down again. Be strong,
Dave, I'm trying to be.
Brinatello
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