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Paul, thank you for some more encouragement to continue. I have to say I've had some of the best education on the planet when it comes to understanding the being and the mind, and that education does me well when I am in a session, such as spotting valences, which is what happened in today's very long RI.
As I said, I had been detecting some sadness so I decided to RI the subject of "The Beautiful Sadness of it All". It started out very well, very good sensations, lots of change up and insights occurring, lots of fun, very interesting, some charge coming off too. But I noticed I was not doing my usual big yawns and I thought that was interesting. This Ri took about 4 hours (I know you're going, "Gollee!"). Halfway through I spotted a valence and felt a bit cheated -- that this valence had been doing the first half of the RI. I've had a whole lot of whole track recall so I recognized this as an old identity in an old game -- still active. I kept doing the same RI that I started out with and this identity faded away and another one showed up and then that faded away and then a senior archetype I have worked on previously came into view. Because of the time factor (I had promised to wash and trim the dog) I ended off with the senior archetype no longer a factor. When I came back and started running it again there were the usual typical huge yawns. Why was that? Why was it when I was running the RI out of valence there were no yawns and once those got resolved there were lots of yawns? I don't have the answer for that yet. RI not only keys out everything a compulsive mind could have stacked in it, but it also gives insights and exposes game strategies, invaluable for helping one to decide that's not a cool game to play anymore. It ensures that once a person starts timebreaking they are going to be doing it in valence. "In Valence" means as themself, in their own identity. I think most Scientologists might have a hard time committing to doing RI as long as it takes -- it was never part of their training. I would be interested in seeing how someone who is "Clear" might run RI. I'm starting to think that one could go "Clear" on RI alone -- plus reading all the materials one can get about the mind from Dennis and some of Hubbard's basic stuff. I can't tell you how many times doing RI I get to a viewpoint where I see how I chose to go to the effect of the To Know matrix, what I now call "The Great Wall of Confusion". Or I get a very causative viewpoint and wonder how I'm going to take responsibility for all of it. Scientologists were drummed in on taking responsibility, lol. Sometimes I get a glimpse into a non-duality experience and I start to cognite on what Dennis meant when he said "...eternal bliss". All of this as a product of doing RI. Yes, I know I need to get onto the core practice of timebreaking and I'm looking forward to when the RI won't take up all of the allotted session time, as I expect that to happen. I think there will be a breakthrough for me. Like I've said, I've had some very good teachers and good advisors along the way, and doors to my case were opened with the extensive whole track recall. I KNOW that all my wholetrack was a dramatization of some really intense "Incident One" type of event. It always feels like a wall with me the creation on one side of it and I can only guess "what?" on the other side, and I'm not happy about it. And I've brought that all the way forward with me and it is here right now ready for a final viewing. What I will be once I take that apart, I don't know 100 percent, except the little Dennis says about it. colleen
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