Re: [TruthTalk] More in the garden thoughts...

[Debbie Sawczak]

Izzy, I bet you were a marvellous parent. That's because (as I imagine it) your discipline always presupposed the continuation of the relationship, and your kids knew it without doubt. You never said, "Now you're not my son anymore till you say Sorry and do the chores like I told you." Right?   BTW, I hate gardening, but I warm to what you say about mindless tasks setting the mind free. That's why one of my favourite tasks at the bookstore is to open an interminable sequence of incoming packs of greeting cards, mechanically interleave the envelopes with the cards, and put the cards in the rack. (But I love nearly all the tasks at the store.) Splitting wood at the cottage is good for this too, as is folding laundry...   Debbie ----- Original Message ----- From: ShieldsFamily To: TruthTalk@mail.innglory.org Sent: Friday, April 15, 2005 2:00 PM Subject: [TruthTalk] More in the garden thoughts... I was also thinking while gardening this morning about the “God is Love” argument going on here on TT.   One side says God is LOVE to the exclusion of anything else.  The other side says God is definitely LOVE, but not Exclusively Love.  Both sides argue about what a Father is like—isn’t he loving above all else?   I thought about my own parenting.  When my children were infants they only knew my loving, nurturing side.  That is the only side I showed them because (1) that is the only thing they could comprehend at that age, and (2) they didn’t need to know me in any other capacity at that tender age.  But as they grew older and more autonomous it became important for me to teach them right from wrong for their own protection.  To do that I had to make myself known as the Parent, or as I call it “the Leader of the Pack” so to speak.  I had to show them that I, as Parent, am in charge and the one to be obeyed.  Otherwise we would have nothing but anarchy and chaos in our home (watch “Super Nanny” for a perfect example!), and I would not be able to teach them anything.  To do this, I had to show them my strong, disciplining side.  If/when they crossed the line I was also known as the Enforcer. Once they learned that, and did not rebel, we had a more adult relationship.  It is, today, built upon our mutual respect and love for each other.  They know me, not just as a loving parent, but also we relate to each other on a mature level, understanding the fullness of each other’s personalities.  Izzy