The Remote Patrol for Wednesday, December 17, 2008
by Thomas Allen Heald, Secretary of the Coaxial
All times Eastern, for PBS programs, check local listings
TOM'S TWISTED TOTALLY TRIVIAL TV THINGY
Who would you be the most likely to bump into at a screening of the
movie "Marley & Me"?
A) Punky Brewster
B) Nick Knight
C) Marty Gold
D) Father Leo
E) Jack Killian
Thursday brings the right answer, and hopefully a better question.
---
8 p.m.
COMET AND CUPID, AND HEY, DONNA DIXON!
* They've done a Christmas special with their "Sesame Street" pals, a
"Sesame Street Christmas," an otter jug band, a movie with Michael Caine
as Scrooge, and a tv movie with rappers and Triumph the Insult Comic
Dog, and a couple specials with Elmo. Yet, with none of these Henson
company produced shows (with the exception of "Christmas Eve on Sesame
Street") holds a candle to the original "John Denver & The Muppets'
Christmas." While tonight's "A MUPPET'S CHRISTMAS: LETTERS TO SANTA"
(NBC) may have music by Paul Williams, it also has guest appearances by
Petra Nemcova, Steve Schirripa, Tony Sirico, and Mayor Michael
Bloomberg. Please guys, just remaster the John Denver special and go
ruin Easter instead.
* "Great Performances" presents "DANCE IN AMERICA: THE SAN FRANCISCO
BALLET'S NUTCRACKER" (PBS). Because you've always wanted to see it
staged during the 1915 Panama Pacific International Exposition. Yes,
it's all for you, Dick Cavett.
* Casting Crowns, Kristin Chenoweth, Julianne Hough, Darius Rucker and
Straight No Chaser show up as demanded by Dr. Phil for "CHRISTMAS IN
WASHINGTON" (TNT).
Norwegian private dicks threaten to expose Emerson, Ned, and Chuck's
deep dark non-pie related secrets on "PUSHING DAISIES" (ABC).
Christine and Barb get so steamed their gym can't get a bank loan they
turn it into a day spa on "I WATCHED 'THE NEW ADVENTURES OF OLD
CHRISTINE' ONCE AND IT WASN'T THAT FUNNY" (CBS)
9 p.m.
"CRIMINAL MINDS" (CBS) investigates an SUV serial killer. Bring me the
head of $4 gasoline.
"SPECTACLE: ELVIS COSTELLO WITH ..." (Sundance) welcomes amateur
saxophonist Bill Clinton.
The "STYLISTA" (CW) is named after completing the series' first trimester.
I WANT A HIPPOPOTAMUS FOR CHRISTMAS
Volunteers decorate for "THE WHITE HOUSE CHRISTMAS 2008" (HGTV). Because
paying people is so ... 1999.
10 p.m.
ONLY A HIPPOPOTAMUS WILL DO
Natasha Richardson and Martha Stewart merrily measure the "TOP CHEF"
(Bravo) with Christmas challenges.
T.T.F.N.
"ESTATE OF PANIC" (Sci Fi).
10:30 p.m.
T.T.F.N.
"CHOCOLATE NEWS" (Comedy Central)
NIGHT LIGHTS
* Jennifer Aniston attempts to justify her continued celebrity to Dave.
No, Jen your version of the Beethoven movie is not gonna getcha an
Oscar, despite what the people at "The Insider" say.
* Scarlett Johansson, Kenneth Branagh, and Staind see red with Jay.
* Samuel L. Jackson and Death Cab for Cutie give Craig the shaft.
* Jeff Goldblum, David Gregory, and Charlie Viracola fly over to Conan's.
* Keri Russell, Steve Martorano, and the Fray save a rating with Jimmy.
* Dick Van Dyke trips over Tavis Smiley's ottoman ... or does he?
===
TTTTTT ANSWER
Who would you be the least likely to bump into on the "L"? Punky
Brewster, Al Bundy ("Married with Children"), Marty Gold ("Anything But
Love"), Father Leo "Nothing Sacred"), or Jack Killian ("Midnight
Caller")? Since Killian is in San Francisco and not Chicago.
===
But the conversation doesn't end here, add your own suggestions or
discuss mine on the "TV or Not TV" Google list. "The Remote Patrol" is
copyright© 2008 Thomas Allen Heald and Gigantic Rear Projection, Ltd.
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